Its crazy to me, that when we allow God to work in our lives and to show us our faults, that He does just that, He answers our prayers! There have been things brought to my attention that I never even realized was an issue or I didn't realize the extent it was. One thing that I know was brought to my attention is everyones spiritual gifts and talents. I have been known to hold people back from God using them out of selfishness and insecurity. Now I look at it as a beautiful thing and I actually love to watch people use their talents and abilities. I may not be a singer, but I love to watch and listen to someone who God has given a beautiful voice too. I may not can build a house, but I love to see people who can and to help others.
I'm not a big fan of Joel Osteen, but for some reason I was listening to him the other day on TV. His whole sermon matched with my walk that I'm going through now. Ive known in the past that I have a tendency of putting the men in my life before God, not realizing that I'm doing it, but eventually when it gets too far, I notice it. I remember going into a relationship telling him that I do tend to put men before God and to show me when I start to do it. First, it wasn't his responsibility to see it or even to tell me, but it should be something that I give to God each day.
The truth of the matter is, alot of us put "idols" in front of God. I always thought when reading the Bible that these "idols" were of a gold calf and they bowed down to it, so it really never dawned on me of when I put a man in front of God, that it was actually an idol. I was watching this other sermon on idols and he said, how you know you have an idol is when you lose something or someone, you want to end your life, because you cant imagine going on in life without it. Also, if something or someone consumes more of your thoughts than God. I remember trying for a baby years ago and it was all I could think about, that became my idol. Looking back in 1929 when the stock market fell, so many people killed themselves cause they lost their money, that became their idol. Some people put so much time and purpose in their children and making them happy, that they become their idol. Alot of people lose it when their husbands or wives leave them, they were their idol. People have known to lose their jobs or strive to get to the highest point in their career, that when they don't get their promotion or if they do lose their jobs, they don't know what to do with themselves, they lose their identity, an idol. You can actually become your own idol in your looks, striving to be the most fit or the most beautiful, that can become your idol.
Its showed me what myself and even others put so much time and effort in, these worldly things, temporary things. The truth is, with me, is I put so much expectations in these men that they never could satisfy me. Well, they cant, nor they ever could, because I was seeking in them, only what God could provide. People are going to fail me, they are going to mess up, they are going to say and do the wrong things, because they are human and they arnt perfect. Its really a great freeing feeling in knowing when God gives me a mate that this is a struggle of mine and I will have to give it to God each day, but I know my problem and now can work on it. I pray everyday that I don't want anything or anyone to be put before God. I pray that God will send a mate that together we can give each and every problem, item, children, house, family, love, etc to God and as a couple God will be the center and front of it all.
Its helped me to realize to forgive and to move forward and not keep bringing up peoples past, because Christ doesn't do that to us. I actually sat there and thought one day of how I used to be. I used to bring up what someone did months or even years ago, out of fear of it happening again. I have been guilty of asking God for forgiveness and then repeating the sin for what I had asked God to forgive me for. Truth is, God doesn't throw it back in my face when I do wrong and ask Him to forgive me, so why would I do it to someone else? Also, I wouldn't want that person to throw my past faults back in my face.
Let me just say, my God is a loving God and I am very thankful He has been patient with me and has given me these eye openers of my life so I can truly be the godly woman that He wants me to be. I want to be used, I want to show others Jesus, I want to share my faults, my struggles and even my mistakes, so hopefully someone can learn or not do them. I also want to share my problems and struggles, because alot of them that have been brought to my attention was something I didn't even know that I struggled with. You cant work on something you don't even know you have a problem with.
I pray and ask God everyday to mold me into the woman He wants me to be. I wonder sometimes that it seems like this process is taking forever and right when I think I have learned all the "big" issues in my life, He likes to sneak in another one and its usually a major one. Truth of the matter is, it hasn't been an easy road. There has been a lot of rollercoaster emotions and crying out with not understanding. Only God knows how long this process of mine is going to be till the next season of my life comes in. I have to literally take it one day at a time and keep working on myself. God has shown His hand in my life more lately than I could ever ask for. I know Im walking the right path, when I keep getting abundant blessings! My Father is a loving, gracious, forgiving Father and all I want is to keep Him front and center in my life and in my family's life!
My question for you is to really ask yourself, is there ANYTHING or ANYONE that comes before God? It could be TV, your phone, your computer, your mate, your child, your career, your house, your family even.......
Is there anything in your life 'you don't think you could live' if it was to be taken away?
All I can say with my walk in this life, that everytime I put something in front of God, He took it away. My God is a jealous God and He wants your love and attention and your worship. He wants to be center of your life without any worldly thing coming before Him.
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