Friday, October 24, 2014

Do they meet your every need? Can they?


By Spiritually Single
"One day, I shared with my unmarried friend that when I was single I thought marriage was all about finding the right partner. I thought if you find “the one,” you’d be happy, secure, and fulfilled.
I do think it’s good to have a list of standards that you look for in a spouse. However, it can never be with the expectation that if you find that special someone, he’ll right all your wrongs and fill up all your insecurities. The problem with this thinking is the pressure it will eventually put on your spouse.
To expect another person to make you feel happy, secure, and fulfilled will leave you disappointed at best and disillusioned at worst. Even a great husband makes a very poor God.
Only God can settle those deep heart-needs. A man can never do this. If a husband could meet every need his wife had (and vice versa), we’d have no need for God. Therefore, instead of just focusing on finding the right partner, let God work on your heart to help you become the right partner.” - Lysa TerKeurst



This is EXACTLY what God has been teaching me the past 7 months.  In the past I have put so much pressure on the man in my life to make me happy, feel worthy, feel beautiful and they failed everytime.  They  told me that,"No matter what I do, its never good enough".  They were right....I wasn't putting that trust in God like I should have, I was expecting them to fulfill those desires.  God is the one who can only fulfill certain things for us!  They tried, am I'm thankful they put the effort in, but it was all me!  I know now and I know to keep it applied to my life and to always put God first since God has taught me.

I look around and see so many people put so much dependency on their mate and I wish they put that much effort in God.  It took me a long time to get where I'm at and I had to lose a great man to see, but I can honestly say that I wouldn't trade this season in my life.  No one likes to go through the storm, but when you go through it head first and come out on the other side, your smarter and a better person that can God use you for.  

So remember to not depend on man or even things in this life to make you happy.  Our God is a jealous God and He can and possibly remove that person or that thing that you put before Him.  Find your worth in Christ and Christ alone!  He loves like no one on this earth could ever love and your worth to Him is more worthy than to any person on this earth!

Thursday, October 23, 2014

My daily lifestyle

Before I start, I just want to say that I am no by any means a professional in health care or a nutritionist.  I eat what works for me and what I like.  I also am active in my own ways. 

I am not perfect.  I struggle just like the average American with foods that arnt good for us.  I did have to teach myself to look at ingredients and how much sugar, sodium and calories are in most items.  I also learned what simple carbs and complex carbs are about and trans fats and saturated fats.

A struggle that I have faced majority of my life is indulging.  I can go hours upon hours of not eating or drinking and then go excessive when it is time to eat.  Once I learned to eat 5 times a day, I noticed how I was constantly fulfilled and never had to indulge.  I also noticed how I was giving myself fuel to have energy. 

I sometimes compare myself to a car.  In order for me to go, I needed to fill my gas tank up.  I didn't want to run dry and I didn't want to give myself bad oil and bad gas (no pun intended).  Also, since I have had cancer, I really feel like God opened up my eyes while I was learning this new lifestyle of mine, of what really is in foods.  There are alot of fake, man made ingredients that our body's really arnt made for.  Since I have had cancer, I just visualize some of these ingredients "activating" my cancer cells.  This is what works for me.  My health is more important than a 10 minute cheap meal.  That is only a temporary fulfillment.  Now there are times where I don't have many options or I simply am human and sometimes I crave the worst foods, so I will "treat" myself. 

BREAKFAST
My morning routine usually all the time consist of my Arbonne Protein Shake mix (vanilla) and I personally only use 1 scoop.  I add ice, water, frozen fruit, banana and sometimes I add PB2.  I sometimes make so much I give the extra to my grandpa, which is good.  This shake mix is also considered a meal replacement, but its very fulfilling and delicious.  If I have to get up and be out the door, then I take it with me, but if I'm at home getting ready for work, Ill drink it and then later cook lunch before work. (Remember I'm an Arbonne Consultant, so if you want to know more about this product or any other products



let me know!)


LUNCH
So a couple hours later I prepare usually my lunch and 1st dinner.  I will either cook grilled chicken with a vegetable (spinach, squash, zucchini, green beans, peas, asparagus, broccoli) or steak that I recently bought a package of.  I also might make a spinach salad that consist of mandarin oranges, walnuts, shredded carrots and oil & vinegar dressing.  I also have gone out and got some Pregresso Light soups for days that I don't want to cook or days that I cook only 1 meal before work.  So when I go to my first dinner at work, I can just heat up a bowl of soup with some whole wheat crackers for filling. 

 SNACKS
While I'm at work, I will pack apples, grapes, celery, carrots, melon to snack on.  I buy some of those fiber chocolate brownies for when I'm craving a sweet.  I also have the Fiber bars for times when I know I wont have time to eat, but I can grab it and eat it real quick to keep my fuel going.  I always tend to want to snack before bed.  Something that I have been addicted to lately is Pumpkin seeds.  I think its a mental thing mostly, that I'm chewing on something while I'm winding down from work at night, watching TV, but its not bad for me, its actually good for you!

SECOND DINNER
Why I have a second dinner is simply because of my hours.  I wake up alot around noon and have breakfast, I then will eat lunch round 3 before work, snack a little and then at 7pm I eat my dinner.  I take my "lunch" at work at 10pm, so I will either eat what I cooked for the day, or heat up a bowl of soup or sometimes I treat myself to a salad at McDonald's.  Also sometimes, depending on my food intake, I might snack when I come home. 

BEFORE BED
Now before bed, when I get home at 1am, I will usually snack on my pumpkin seeds or if I have beef jerky, I will eat a little bit of that for protein.  Alot of people don't realize that when we are sleeping our body is restoring itself, so we need to eat a certain type of food before bed so it can be fed to restore itself properly.

WATER
Now this is my weakness.  I don't drink soda, its been almost 11 years since I have, but I used to be a big juice fan.  I honestly couldn't tell you the last time I had juice.  My fridge is always stalked with water.  I also have the 100% natural flavors that I add sometimes when I want a different taste.  I also have the Propel water that I treat myself to every once in awhile.  I know I need to drink more, but this is all that I drink.

Lately, I haven't really given myself any cheat days, just because I need my gallbladder out.  Since my last attack I constantly feel like its inflamed and a gallbladder attack pretty much feels like a heart attack and near death.  In a way its been bittersweet, because I don't eat breads, starches, sugar, dairy, alcohol, fried foods, or high in fat foods.  Weight seems to be melting off of me, which I'm not complaining.

My activity lately has honestly been non-existent.  I lay down all the time, because a few weeks ago I was working out hardcore.  In that time that I was working out, I gained 6 pounds of muscle.  I stopped working out, because it was the only thing I was doing different and I lost 8 pounds.  Since I have gotten lazy, I have lost an additional 5 more pounds since the 6 pounds, but I can tell that my back is hurting from laying down so much and my energy isn't like it was.  I know I need to get more active and I plan on it before my surgery.   Once I reach my goal, I plan on toning up for sure!  But see how I have realized what isnt working for me or what is making me feel worse, I have to mentally and physically change.  Just remember that we are all different.

My body is different than most people.  Its one of those things you learn as you go.  I had to look at my life when I gained 6 pounds and try and figure out what I did different.  So I stopped working out and learned that in order for me to get to my goal faster, I need to stop working out.  That might not be for you! 

One thing that kinda bothers me with people, is when they make an excuse, "Oh I cant do that".  I cant stop drinking sodas, I cant stop my daily coffee, I cant cook everyday, I cant workout, I cant drink only water, I cant afford that.  So your telling me and yourself, that something has power over you?  That you are already defeated, before starting!?   Why would you want ANYTHING have power over you?  I have gone 11 years without soda right?  I NEVER think about it, because its not even a desire.  I honestly would say back then I was addicted to them.  My mother had coke in my baby bottles as a child and I have pictures of that.  Yes, it was hard at the beginning, but just like anything else, its gets easier.  It was hard for me to start this journey.  It took me 4 months just to train myself, but I was still weak.  I still have weak moments.  I have gone on trips and slacked, but when I got back, it took a week to train myself back to eating right.  Its all about what YOU want.  NO ONE can change it for you.  Your body is Gods body........STOP........think about that. YOUR BODY IS GODS BODY, IT IS HIS TEMPLE. 

1 Corinthians 6:19
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;


So when you think about it, how would you treat Gods temple?   Financially, I looked at prices and thought, "oh my goodness".  Let me say that God has taken care of me because I know He knows my heart and I want to take care of the temple that He has given me, to use it to glorify Him.  The choices we make today, we are making for 10 years from now.  Whether its our inner body, the hair, the skin, the eyes, the teeth.  What do you want your body to look like 10, 20 years from now?  Are things going to be rotted, damaged, skin damaged?  Are you going to have high cholesterol, blood sugar, blood pressure, cancer?  I'm 29 years old and I can tell my body is changing.  Its the way of life, but its time that I take a grip and make my lifestyle change.

I'm a tough love kind of girl, but I honestly do it because I love you!  I want to share what I know, what I feel is true and good and I want to see people happy and healthy.  I'm here to encourage you and to show facts and truth about our health.  I'm not forcing anything down anyones throat, but I just want share with you, my journey and if you want any ideas or share any ideas, then be my guest!  I'm always trying to learn new recipes and new snacks.  I hope this helps someone or encourages them to maybe make that first leap to maybe trying to make themselves healthy.

Just remember that I lost 34 pounds but just changing the way I ate.  I didn't workout or do anything.....don't push yourself so much that you drain yourself fast.  It takes steps and once you get something down, take another step.  Its okay, we are not in a race, but just know, that I could be the same person I was 7 months ago or I could be the person I am today.  So where will I be 7 months from now?  I'm not going to waste this time and neither should you!   :)


Wednesday, October 22, 2014

My night at the ER...

A few weeks ago I googled about this lump under my arm pit. I seen the word cancer on google and shut it off.  I know how I am if I read stuff, but I just didn't want to deal with it, I felt fine. 

Saturday night comes around and I noticed that the spot under my was still there and it was aggravating me.  I decided to google it and then fear crept in. In the back of my mind I know that my kidney cancer exam is coming up to its 2 year mark and I thought about it every once in awhile, but was dreading it. 

I had went to church the next day and in Sunday school I asked them to pray for my surgery coming up and this lump under my arm and for peace of mine.  Later that day at work I noticed that my back starting to hurt on the left side where my only kidney is left.  Let me just say that I have been as close to God as I can be and the devil got a hold of me like no other.  I couldn't shake him to save my life. 

Monday comes and I'm just a nervous wreck.  I make an appointment to get it looked at and it wasn't until Tuesday.  While I was at work Monday night, I was different.  My co-worker never seen me so stressed out.  I cried and couldn't focus.   I'm glad I had her there to help me and comfort me. 

A little insight in my life is I don't get much comfort.  My grandpa is an 84 year old man who doesn't know what to say or do, but he just knows to pray for me.  I sometimes wonder why God gave me such a small environment for not much simple comfort or ease of words.  I'm made to need a simple hug and to be told everything is going to be okay. 

At work I ended up calling my Urologist and setting up an appointment on Thursday.  MOST people reading this, hopefully most likely have never faced cancer.  You cant really sit there and say what you would do or not do.  Its always in the back of your mind and you know that in an instant your life could be turned upside down.  Not knowing or waiting on results is one of the hardest times emotionally and mentally.

Later that night my co-worker suggested that maybe I go to the ER after work so have some peace of mind.  After thinking about it, I thought it was good idea.  My back and abdominal section did hurt and I couldn't even sit there comfortably.  When 9:30pm, I couldn't even focus and I decided to leave at 10:00 and just head in to the ER.  I went home and changed and got me some shorts in case I was going to stay or needed a gown or something and got me a book to read. 

I go in and tell them whats wrong and they tell me its going to be a 2 hours wait.  I was fine with it, I was where I wanted to be.  I sat there and had some friends pray for me and finished reading my book.  I caught up on some devotions and played a balloon popping game on my phone that relaxes me.

My, 'Hi Im scared' look!
One of the nurses called me to get some blood drawn and to pee in a cup and then I went back in the waiting room to wait.  After 2 hours I finally was called to the back and while walking there, the nurse grabbed a gown.  I instantly thought, "What did they find in my blood or urine?"  I always get the room that has no TV, the one where its in the back with my own bathroom.  Since it was just me anyways, it was good time for me to spend with God. 

A nurse came in and got my vitals and after awhile the Dr came in.  I told her what was going on and she examined me and then ordered a CT scan.  I was scared but it was what I had been wanting.  You have to understand that even though I had an appointment for Thursday with my Urologist, they would of scheduled a CT scan with the hospital and it would of taken a week or so and I would of had all these co-pays and then end up waiting a week for the results.  God has been blessing and that night was part of His blessings. 

A lady came and wheeled me to the X-ray room.  She was my age and we just hit it off and started talking about life and surgeries.  While I laid there and had my body in this donut shaped machine, I kept praying and thinking within minutes my life could be different.  When it was done, the lady told me, "I didn't see anything, the contrast looked good and that your kidney looks like its working good."  In that moment, I had HOPE!  Part of the weight that I had, was lifted.  I knew she wasn't the Dr, but just that little sentence helped me alot.  She knew I was scared. 

I go back to the room and I wait!  I pray and I sing, "Blessed me the name of the Lord", and I claimed in Jesus Name that I was cancer free and I trusted it!  I told God that this body isn't mine and its in His hands.  After waiting, a few more vitals, the nurse comes in and he hands me my discharge papers.  He didn't say anything, and then asked me if the Dr came in, I told him "No".  He said, "Well everything looks good and we are going to treat you with a UTI, here's your prescription and your paperwork that you need to sign".  This man, all evening was out of it, I could tell he was in his own world.  I had told him previously that I had cancer and I was nervous and then I asked him when he handed me my discharge papers, "So I have no cancer?" and he goes "You had cancer?"  I'm thinking, UH YES!!!!  I'm not just saying this for kicks and giggles.  Anyways, I was happy and relieved though I wanted the Dr to look at my arm, but at the moment, I didn't care.  I just wanted to go cry and thank God.

I am truly blessed!  God has given me alot of strength and I know the closer that I walk with God, the more He just loves to see me smile, because He is ALWAYS showing Himself to me.  Today I had to work at my part time job and its so simple for what I'm about to say, but it was one of those moments when you just look up and smile and thank Him.

I was censoring clothes and folding them and I needed one more hanger.  I said, "Lord, it would be great if you got me a hanger, I trust you!"  I stood there still folding clothes with this one shirt just laying there needs a hanger.  My co-worker walked up to the table I was at and she laid down one hanger and I asked her if she was using it and she said, "No, I found it over there".  I smiled and giggled and then told her what I'm telling you!  I just want share what God can do.  He cares about the BIG things in our lives and He cares about the small things in our lives.  The truth is, He wants to show Himself to you everyday.  He wants to pour out His abundant blessings to you every single day.  He always wants us to trust Him and lean on Him and do His will in our lives.    There is nothing God cant do and He is a loving God.  I am so thankful, blessed and loved by Him and I trust Him with my love life, my health, my finances, my needs, my desires, my dreams and my future.  Nothing on this earth is mine and we here a blink compared to our eternity.  God created us to worship Him and to share His love towards others.  He wants us to bring people to Christ and to have His light shine within us.  Following Christ, makes life so much better!  Yes the enemy is right on your tracks to make you fail, to throw temptation in your way, to make life difficult, but God is one who is there to catch you and fight for you!

If there is anything in your life, that you struggle (mine is trusting with health and finances), then I ask as hard as it may be, to try and hand it over to the one who can give you the strength and direction to overcome or open doors for you!  Don't forget that each and every single person walking this earth is struggling with something.  We live in a fallen world, but Jesus came and overcame it!

Thursday, October 16, 2014

29th Birthday Celebration

 Here it is......last year of my 20's.  It was bitter sweet for me.  Never thought I would be here in my 20s divorced with no kids, but it is where I'm at and I have to enjoy it to the fullest.  I had a good birthday and had fellowship time with my friends.  It was a laid back, girly birthday, but it was a good one.  I had lots of memories and won $10.00 bucks at the casino!!  woot woot  My friend and I on Friday the day before my birthday went to Logan's and got our toes done.  We went to the Casino afterwards, cause of course I gots to get my free $10.00!!!



Side angles with a bright sun shining in my face wasnt the best picture





She always wins!  I just think Im the good luck charm!






This was my winning machine!

 Now for October 4th!!
My birthday cake (Protein shake)

Trying to teach grandpa in how to use a phone camera....dont judge me with his photo taking....most came out blurry!


Its Stuart!
 So I had a peaceful ride to Ft Worth till I hit Ft Worth.  My phone has its own set of issues and the navigation wont work.  So for an hour Im sitting on the side of the road with Verizon and they cant help me.  They cant fix my phone and I learned I need a new phone.  So I eventually met up with my friend and we went to Cracker Barrel and went shopping and visited with each other.  We are going thru similar issues with life and it was good to talk to a good Christian woman about God working in our lives.  We went and painted and it was very relaxing as there was a kid party in the next room.  Hey....it was triplets on 10-4, they are my kinda peeps!! :)



I cant wait to get this back....it takes 2 weeks and Ill need to make another trip down there to get it.  But itll be darker once its fired.



She didnt finish but she works down the street from here, so she was going to go back....its good therapy!





Dallas night life!

Reunion Tower!







They put Happy Birthday on the wrong dessert, so I got free cookie :)

mine, it was so yummy!







In the elevator


This girl has lost over 100 pounds....she is looking good!!

I silly!





Im never going to grow up fully.....  :)






The hotel lobby...we had fun riding up and down the elevator...























It was late and we were acting silly





She heard me from a previous trip, that I wanted something like this and it wasnt something that I would buy, it was the best!!











My friends :)  they are together in their home now :)







I headed home that night after this long day and it was a beautiful night sky.  I got lost because my phone didn't work and was headed to Abilene.  I didn't get home till 5am, but it was a safe trip.  I asked God to have the angels keep my eyelids open and to get me home safely.  I saw a different scenery for sure!!  I don't know what to do with this phone issue, since no one knows whats wrong with it.

I had a good birthday!!!  Its going to be a good year!