I wondered at times if I should change myself to.......lower myself? I guess the enemy was in my ear, because my thoughts and yet what came out of my mouth didn't make sense. God has allowed me in my lifetime to go through alot of trials, in which made me the woman I am today. I have taken on a lot of responsibilities as a teenager when my mom died with me being the age of 16. I cant honestly say that I have had this horrible life, but I have defiantly had some low valleys. I have faced losing a parent, the only parent other than my grandfather that I had at a young age. I have also faced cancer, losing 3 children, and losing my marriage all by the age of 25. So yes, at the age of 29 and spending time with Jesus this past year, I have found my worth!
I mow 2 yards, weeded, trim bushes, decorate my home, work full time, have my business on the side, pay bills, hold 2 peoples credit score at a good number, clean house, run errands, volunteer at church, and of course blog and more!!!! I love my life!! Do I wish I had my own little family at times? Of course! That's all in Gods timing. I am seeing God work more and more in my life, preparing me and getting me ready for my future husband. That man is going to be one blessed man!! This woman right here {thumbs pointing towards her} strives to be a Proverbs 31 woman each and everyday! I think all the time if God is getting me prepared and I'm loving the process of who I have become, man oh man my husband is going to be a wonderful godly man! That just brings a smile to my face!
The thing that I realized is that God knew before I was born what kind of life I would have. He knew how He could use me and He allowed me to face many things at such a young age that has molded me into this person. A lot of years I didn't face my past hurts and trials and it did damage to a lot of relationships in my life, but that was my fault. I know the man God has for me will see the strength I have is because of the one who died for me. I will be weak at times and I will struggle, but I know my husband will be able to help comfort me and pray for me.
I have a lot of single friends who are starting or may have been on this journey for awhile and I love to share with them what God has taught me. I listen and I hear a lot of goals they want to do or they have some issues and struggles they still haven't faced and I understand facing past hurts or insecurities or just a rough childhood is very hard, but its so rewarding.
I know with me, I want to be able to give my BEST to my husband and I want us to walk our lives together as strong as we possibly can, especially at the beginning when we start to plan out future together. Do I have lonely moments or times where I wish I had a mate? Of course, but one day.....until then I will praise God and be thankful for where I am at in life. I am very blessed!!!
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