I mentioned before the book I was reading called, "Your late again, Lord". It talks about us in a waiting room at times in our lives. I can look back at my life and see myself in lots of waiting rooms. Some I didn't want to be in and screamed and shouted, trying to claw myself out of that room. Ive sat in some, having total trust and faith in God and waited semi patiently. Ive set in my waiting room before not understanding, complaining and wanting to be out of it so much, because it sucked!
Now that I understand and can look at God sitting me down in a waiting room and that I can have a visual way of God working in my life, it makes it much easier. I don't know what the future holds, but back in February, most of you reading this know that I was in a relationship. I was in a relationship with a man that I asked for. I wrote him on a list a couple of years ago and God handed him to me on a silver platter. This man had to work a little bit and pray and the day that I prayed about us, God started to change my heart. God worked inside out to be in this relationship. People tell me today, that maybe God brought him into my life just for a short time, and they could be right, I don't know for sure. I do know that God told me that this man was going to be my husband, He embedded it into my heart and God changed my heart to feel this way towards him. So why arnt we together?
Its been since March that we have been together and before we broke up, we were trying to get close to God and to understand each other, because we have different personalities. We didn't understand why we are so different and why God would bring two people that didn't understand each other together. We had been praying and I know me personally, I was praying for God to mold me into the woman He wanted me to be, so I could satisfy Brian. Now, before I get into detail, I don't know 100% if Brian and I will ever see each other again or ever be in a relationship and to be honest, I don't worry about it, because I'm not in control and people have free will. I do know, that God had to remove Brian out my life so God could work in me.
This is how I visualized myself. I visualized myself carrying 2 big bags of luggage in my relationship. It was filled with past relationships, hurt, fear, insecurity, doubt, selfishness and so much more. It weighed me down, it weighed our relationship down. I prayed for God to mold me and God knew that the best way, would be for me to be on my own, with God and me in a waiting room, while He talks to me and while I do His work. I don't know how long I will be in this waiting room. I don't know how long I will be single, but the amazing thing about my waiting room right now is I trust God!!! I trust Him that He is doing something great for me, even though I don't understand. I don't want to learn the hard way and I don't want to be in this room forever, so I'm obeying and doing everything God wants me to do and I'm trying to enjoy this time in my life. This could be my last time single, before married with children, so why not go out and do Gods work single, before I will have a mate. I know when its time, that I will have a Godly husband who loves to do Gods work and will hopefully help and encourage my ministry that I feel God has put before me. Its exciting to know and feel at peace with knowing that God wouldn't give me a husband who didn't want to do ministry work.
So where do I stand right now? God finally revealed the biggest problem I had throughout every relationship. I can see how the first week with Brian and mines separation, He revealed to me all the small, but yet important things I needed to work on. I went straight to work on all those and right when God knew I was ready, He told me. He told me that I depend on man too much! I put so much expectations on them that only God can fulfill and of course they are going to fail me. All 3 guys I ever was in a relationship with all told me the same thing, "No matter what I do, its never good enough". I always expected them to be perfect, to not lust, to dress and look this certain way. Isn't that sad? God is so good to me, that He has allowed me to have some time in my waiting room, to show me where I failed God and even failed the men in my life. I know that if God never revealed this to me, it would of never of stopped and it wouldn't of stopped just at my future husband. I know it would of carried on to my kids and what a horrible way that would be, always trying to make momma happy and not making any mistakes. I was never raised that way, so I don't know where it came about in my life, but the fact that I'm working on it and accepting people as they are, is actually a very beautiful thing.
I'm standing here, one free hand, but still a hand holding a bag of luggage. My luggage is actually unzipped, with stuff spilling out. I love it, because Gods not done working on me, but its slowly being emptied. Now that I know whats in my luggage, I'm working on throwing it away, piece by piece.
Friday, May 16, 2014
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
I can relate, How can you?
Can you imagine if we never went through any storms? Can you imagine if you lived this easy life? I can look around with some friends of mine and see that they never really went through much in their life. They seem to have it easy, always have, seems like they have been extremely blessed without too big of a life changing trial. Now I don't know everything about their life or what they may or may not be saying, but outside looking in, they had it pretty easy.
Ive asked myself with the different trials I have faced if I did something wrong, or why God picks on me. It does seem like it, when it seems like every 3 years I am faced with some form of uncertainty. I know God has a plan for every single person walking this e
arth and I also know that we have free will to either walk Gods path filled with many blessings or walk our own path with confusion.
I look around and see why God chose me to go through these storms. I know they are for a reason, because with Gods strength I have overcome them or grew from them so I can help others. I then asked myself, what does these people around me that seem like they haven't gone through much, what do they have to offer other people when they really haven't been faced with much heartache or pain? I know that's not for me to know or to understand, but I then felt blessed with all my trials, I felt blessed that I can relate and touch so many different people with so many different trials that they may face.
I can help anyone, especially a young child with the loss or sickness of a family member, I can relate to any cancer suffering or surviving person, I can relate to anyone who has experienced loss of a child through miscarriage and even infertility issues, and all their suffering that comes with it. I can relate to a person who's spouse has walked out on them and still encourage them to fight, if that's what God has put on their heart. I can relate to even myself turning from God in the most depressing part of my life and wanting my heart to get hardened and myself committing adultery after my husband left. I can relate to God handing you something and you not being thankful enough and Him taking it away. I can relate to someone who is extremely mad at God, because you don't understand.
I'm thankful for each and every single trial I have gone through. It has made me who I am today. I know that my God wouldn't allow these things to happen in my life if there wasn't a reason or a way He could use me to help others. Each and every season of my life, I know will go down in the book that I feel God wants me to write. Alot of people ask me why don't I start writing now, and its because God hasn't told me too. I know these blogs are parts of my book, because I enjoy looking back and reading my emotion that I was feeling in that part of my life and then I'm reminded, so when its time to look back, I can re-feel what I felt and see what God has done.
I mentioned in a previous post that I questioned what my purpose was on this earth. I feel that it was in those moments the enemy got in my ear and made me question everything. How can I ever doubt with everything I have gone through that it wasn't all for a purpose? I want to be able to reach out to people, to help others, to encourage others. The other day it was Mothers Day, which by the way, I want to put pictures up of my events that have been going on in my life, and I will get to that, because I like to look back at all the holidays and events to remember them, anyways, I woke up that morning and it was kind of a down day. Mothers day isn't the best day for me, yet, because my mother passed and my babies passed and I cant really celebrate it. Alot of people don't see i have children so they forget that I have babies and of course my mother isn't here, so I cant acknowledge it. I woke up and had a different attitude, instead of feeling sad and guilty, I woke up and wished all the mothers and mothers to be and even the moms who have lost babies a Happy Mothers Day!! This day isn't about me, and its not about sadness or pity, because I know that my mother in heaven is taking care of my babies in heaven and what a glorious day it will be when standing at the gate I will hug all of them one day. You know what? It wasn't a bad day! I will share with you my mothers day in my blog when I post pictures, but I was blessed!
When we look at trials and storms in our life and we have pity on ourselves, why don't we turn it around and thank God and use these to help others? I try hard to not look at my life and ask why, but ask God, "What do you want me to do Lord? Place people in my life that I can help and encourage!"
I do encourage whatever you may be going through or maybe its a stillness in your life, no troubles, everything is going great, is to ask God how can He use you or to show you how something good or bad in your life can help someone else. How many times have you gone through something bad, who did you reach out too? I notice each and every trial I faced I ran to God, I love the fact that my God loves me that much that He wants to grab my attention and want Him. At the end of the day, our purpose is to worship God, the Creator or who made us, not for ourselves, but for Him.
I would ask if you have time to listen to this song.....listen to the words....
God speaking
Ive asked myself with the different trials I have faced if I did something wrong, or why God picks on me. It does seem like it, when it seems like every 3 years I am faced with some form of uncertainty. I know God has a plan for every single person walking this e
I look around and see why God chose me to go through these storms. I know they are for a reason, because with Gods strength I have overcome them or grew from them so I can help others. I then asked myself, what does these people around me that seem like they haven't gone through much, what do they have to offer other people when they really haven't been faced with much heartache or pain? I know that's not for me to know or to understand, but I then felt blessed with all my trials, I felt blessed that I can relate and touch so many different people with so many different trials that they may face.
I can help anyone, especially a young child with the loss or sickness of a family member, I can relate to any cancer suffering or surviving person, I can relate to anyone who has experienced loss of a child through miscarriage and even infertility issues, and all their suffering that comes with it. I can relate to a person who's spouse has walked out on them and still encourage them to fight, if that's what God has put on their heart. I can relate to even myself turning from God in the most depressing part of my life and wanting my heart to get hardened and myself committing adultery after my husband left. I can relate to God handing you something and you not being thankful enough and Him taking it away. I can relate to someone who is extremely mad at God, because you don't understand.
I'm thankful for each and every single trial I have gone through. It has made me who I am today. I know that my God wouldn't allow these things to happen in my life if there wasn't a reason or a way He could use me to help others. Each and every season of my life, I know will go down in the book that I feel God wants me to write. Alot of people ask me why don't I start writing now, and its because God hasn't told me too. I know these blogs are parts of my book, because I enjoy looking back and reading my emotion that I was feeling in that part of my life and then I'm reminded, so when its time to look back, I can re-feel what I felt and see what God has done.
I mentioned in a previous post that I questioned what my purpose was on this earth. I feel that it was in those moments the enemy got in my ear and made me question everything. How can I ever doubt with everything I have gone through that it wasn't all for a purpose? I want to be able to reach out to people, to help others, to encourage others. The other day it was Mothers Day, which by the way, I want to put pictures up of my events that have been going on in my life, and I will get to that, because I like to look back at all the holidays and events to remember them, anyways, I woke up that morning and it was kind of a down day. Mothers day isn't the best day for me, yet, because my mother passed and my babies passed and I cant really celebrate it. Alot of people don't see i have children so they forget that I have babies and of course my mother isn't here, so I cant acknowledge it. I woke up and had a different attitude, instead of feeling sad and guilty, I woke up and wished all the mothers and mothers to be and even the moms who have lost babies a Happy Mothers Day!! This day isn't about me, and its not about sadness or pity, because I know that my mother in heaven is taking care of my babies in heaven and what a glorious day it will be when standing at the gate I will hug all of them one day. You know what? It wasn't a bad day! I will share with you my mothers day in my blog when I post pictures, but I was blessed!
When we look at trials and storms in our life and we have pity on ourselves, why don't we turn it around and thank God and use these to help others? I try hard to not look at my life and ask why, but ask God, "What do you want me to do Lord? Place people in my life that I can help and encourage!"
I do encourage whatever you may be going through or maybe its a stillness in your life, no troubles, everything is going great, is to ask God how can He use you or to show you how something good or bad in your life can help someone else. How many times have you gone through something bad, who did you reach out too? I notice each and every trial I faced I ran to God, I love the fact that my God loves me that much that He wants to grab my attention and want Him. At the end of the day, our purpose is to worship God, the Creator or who made us, not for ourselves, but for Him.
I would ask if you have time to listen to this song.....listen to the words....
God speaking
Monday, May 12, 2014
ER visits
Here I am.....waiting at the ER....again. I don't know what is going on in my life. I don't feel overwhelmed by everything, I know God is with me, but it's hitting me back to back. I went to work today and about 3 hours in, my coworker comes in from outside and tells me my tire looks like it's going flat. I go out and it's about half way down. I go inside and started to come up with some choices I can do since I really don't have anyone and not many people are available at 1am. I figured it all out and left work and took some time off.
I go home and catch up on some few things around the house and pray and read devotions and my friend asks me if I would like to go on a road trip. I get in the car and it happened.........an attack. I didn't even eat anything bad today, all I had was chicken and asparagus. I
had over 900 calories to take in from a 1600 calorie diet. We went to Walmart and I bought me some lemons cause they helped me the night before when I had an attack.
It wasnt easing up, so I told her to drive me to the Er. She dropped me off and I sat there alone. I do not blame her, because I wanted her to go do what she needed to do, but just like with the car thing, I'm alone.
I'm not sure what God is doing during this time in my life. I do need surgery since it's starting to happen everyday and I'm doing what I'm supposed too with eating. Why now this is happening....I'm not sure.
My fence that my neighbors dead tree fell on back in March is now starting to fall apart and I'm having to deal with insurance with that.
I know my problems could be so much worse and these are pain in the butt things, but it's hard when you do it alone. I am glad I'm a child of God and God has my back, cause I know it will all work out.
I wrote this on the 9th of May on my phone sitting in the hospital, I wanted to share it since it was my thoughts at the moment, waiting to be seen.
I go home and catch up on some few things around the house and pray and read devotions and my friend asks me if I would like to go on a road trip. I get in the car and it happened.........an attack. I didn't even eat anything bad today, all I had was chicken and asparagus. I
had over 900 calories to take in from a 1600 calorie diet. We went to Walmart and I bought me some lemons cause they helped me the night before when I had an attack.
It wasnt easing up, so I told her to drive me to the Er. She dropped me off and I sat there alone. I do not blame her, because I wanted her to go do what she needed to do, but just like with the car thing, I'm alone.
I'm not sure what God is doing during this time in my life. I do need surgery since it's starting to happen everyday and I'm doing what I'm supposed too with eating. Why now this is happening....I'm not sure.
My fence that my neighbors dead tree fell on back in March is now starting to fall apart and I'm having to deal with insurance with that.
I know my problems could be so much worse and these are pain in the butt things, but it's hard when you do it alone. I am glad I'm a child of God and God has my back, cause I know it will all work out.
I wrote this on the 9th of May on my phone sitting in the hospital, I wanted to share it since it was my thoughts at the moment, waiting to be seen.
New Email
I know God is getting me ready for something. I have mentioned before in my blogs that God laid on my heart as a young woman that I will write a book one day. I know right now in my life, the seasons I'm going through are all going to be going down in this book, because these are all lessons He is teaching me as He works in my life. I can feel God getting me ready for some kind of ministry work, whether it be standing up in front of people and sharing my testimony or writing my book and going to book signings or all the above or more. I knew it was time that I did make an email for when people need to ask me or have prayers or questions they would like to ask me in a more personal manner, so I made an email that you can reach me at.
JoyRachelsHeart@aol.com
JoyRachelsHeart@aol.com
So I wait....
Ive been reading the book, "You're late again, Lord", and this book has changed my life.
The book talks about being the "waiting room" with God and yourself. God wont let you get out of that waiting room till you have fully trusted Him and have waited on the lesson you need to learn during this season of your life. I love books that when I read them, its me, its my situation, its speaking exactly to me. I'm coming to the end of the book and I might have to re-read it, just because its so uplifting and makes you think.
If I look back at my life, I can see me in lots of waiting rooms with God, some of them I took the long wait, forgot to grab the 'your number' I guess you can say. I thought I could figure things out, I thought I could do it on my own, I thought I could fix the problem, I thought I was in control. I can look back and see how God likes to grab my attention. I'm a very hard headed person and sometimes it takes people to walk away, in order for me to look up at God. I get in this routine where life is grand and Rachel is in control and everything couldn't be better, I guess I would say, "I got this God". Of course, God laughs and reminds me that, "Hes got this!"
The past few weeks I was battling with the thought of, 'What was my purpose in this life?' I was feeling like everytime I got close to a prize in this life, it was always taken away. I blamed myself of course and was trying to figure out why I always failed. Ive been searching deep inside as my life has had some bumps here lately in my personal life and I just feel God smiling at me, while holding me and taking my burdens away. In the stillness of being with God, I have felt Him more than hearing Him and its actually very comforting. I know He knew that I needed to feel Him and me surrendering myself so He can guide me.
I know that I cant rush God, I know that I'm not in control, so theres no point in me even trying. I was reminded of my life, with my fence situation. On March 12th of this year, we had a really bad wind storm. The storm knocked my neighbors dead tree on my privacy fence that I have on my property next to my house. Today I finally settled with the insurance company and this is May 12th. It took 2 months to the day to handle and deal with this situation, but the truth is, I couldn't rush it. I waited for my neighbor to fix it and she didn't, then she wanted us to pay for half. I then got on the phone with her insurance company and wanted to file a claim. I then had to get someone out here to look at it and give me an estimate. The first person I called was the person who talked to me who tore her trees down, who was going to fix it in the first place. He left me his card and I called him and he said that he would bring by an estimate. He never showed up the day he was going too and then I called him back and he said he forgot and was going to bring it by that day. Well he never showed up and his word was thrown out the window at that time, so I looked up some more people to call. When I called 3 of them, 2 of them didn't answer the phone and the one person that did, said they didnt do estimates. Later that day I got a call back from one and he agrees to come by. A few days later he still didn't show up, so once again I called again. Finally he told me that he would be by before I go to work and he showed up. He was nice and helped me to deal with the insurance people and what to do. All this from calling and trying to get someone out here was all in about a 2 to 3 week time period. I did my part and called but the others didn't. Then when I called the insurance I had to wait 4 days because she wasn't going to be in the office.
I also can look back now that time has passed and because I waited, I now got a better deal. If I went ahead and settled with my neighbor and decided to pay for half, I would of been out of pocket and the job would of been a crap job. Since I waited and allowed time to pass and handed it over to God, for His will to be done, I now got a better deal and hopefully a better situation of my fence. Now that I have settled with the insurance, I'm going to pray for God to handle this and guide me where I should go with the money.
What I'm saying with all that is, you cant rush God, you cant rush people and I have learned to just sit back and let things happen. I also wake up every morning and give God today and today only. Tomorrow I will get up and give God tomorrow and tomorrow only and ask him to guide me, teach me and show me what it is I need to do for that day.
If we can just look at today and today only and the things you need to get done, just for today, you would be surprised at how much more peaceful life is. I was the worst at running every scenario in my head and all the 'what ifs". This time, God has slowed me down and said, "Let me work my child, let me show you what I can do, in MY timing". So I wait......and He shows me!!!
I do ask for prayers about my fence situation. I know it might sound like a crazy prayer, but the thing with God is, whats important for us, is important for Him. What might seem so small and stupid to ask God for a help or to send a prayer up, is BIG time to Him, because He wants us to go to Him for EVERYTHING!!! I do pray that God will send someone that can fix it or replace it all for a good price, since the money that I'm getting back wont build me a new fence. If you have any prayer request or any questions, don't hesitate to leave a comment with them or you can send me an email at JoyRachelsHeart@aol.com.
I pray that everyone has a blessed day!
The book talks about being the "waiting room" with God and yourself. God wont let you get out of that waiting room till you have fully trusted Him and have waited on the lesson you need to learn during this season of your life. I love books that when I read them, its me, its my situation, its speaking exactly to me. I'm coming to the end of the book and I might have to re-read it, just because its so uplifting and makes you think.
If I look back at my life, I can see me in lots of waiting rooms with God, some of them I took the long wait, forgot to grab the 'your number' I guess you can say. I thought I could figure things out, I thought I could do it on my own, I thought I could fix the problem, I thought I was in control. I can look back and see how God likes to grab my attention. I'm a very hard headed person and sometimes it takes people to walk away, in order for me to look up at God. I get in this routine where life is grand and Rachel is in control and everything couldn't be better, I guess I would say, "I got this God". Of course, God laughs and reminds me that, "Hes got this!"
The past few weeks I was battling with the thought of, 'What was my purpose in this life?' I was feeling like everytime I got close to a prize in this life, it was always taken away. I blamed myself of course and was trying to figure out why I always failed. Ive been searching deep inside as my life has had some bumps here lately in my personal life and I just feel God smiling at me, while holding me and taking my burdens away. In the stillness of being with God, I have felt Him more than hearing Him and its actually very comforting. I know He knew that I needed to feel Him and me surrendering myself so He can guide me.
I know that I cant rush God, I know that I'm not in control, so theres no point in me even trying. I was reminded of my life, with my fence situation. On March 12th of this year, we had a really bad wind storm. The storm knocked my neighbors dead tree on my privacy fence that I have on my property next to my house. Today I finally settled with the insurance company and this is May 12th. It took 2 months to the day to handle and deal with this situation, but the truth is, I couldn't rush it. I waited for my neighbor to fix it and she didn't, then she wanted us to pay for half. I then got on the phone with her insurance company and wanted to file a claim. I then had to get someone out here to look at it and give me an estimate. The first person I called was the person who talked to me who tore her trees down, who was going to fix it in the first place. He left me his card and I called him and he said that he would bring by an estimate. He never showed up the day he was going too and then I called him back and he said he forgot and was going to bring it by that day. Well he never showed up and his word was thrown out the window at that time, so I looked up some more people to call. When I called 3 of them, 2 of them didn't answer the phone and the one person that did, said they didnt do estimates. Later that day I got a call back from one and he agrees to come by. A few days later he still didn't show up, so once again I called again. Finally he told me that he would be by before I go to work and he showed up. He was nice and helped me to deal with the insurance people and what to do. All this from calling and trying to get someone out here was all in about a 2 to 3 week time period. I did my part and called but the others didn't. Then when I called the insurance I had to wait 4 days because she wasn't going to be in the office.
I also can look back now that time has passed and because I waited, I now got a better deal. If I went ahead and settled with my neighbor and decided to pay for half, I would of been out of pocket and the job would of been a crap job. Since I waited and allowed time to pass and handed it over to God, for His will to be done, I now got a better deal and hopefully a better situation of my fence. Now that I have settled with the insurance, I'm going to pray for God to handle this and guide me where I should go with the money.
What I'm saying with all that is, you cant rush God, you cant rush people and I have learned to just sit back and let things happen. I also wake up every morning and give God today and today only. Tomorrow I will get up and give God tomorrow and tomorrow only and ask him to guide me, teach me and show me what it is I need to do for that day.
If we can just look at today and today only and the things you need to get done, just for today, you would be surprised at how much more peaceful life is. I was the worst at running every scenario in my head and all the 'what ifs". This time, God has slowed me down and said, "Let me work my child, let me show you what I can do, in MY timing". So I wait......and He shows me!!!
I do ask for prayers about my fence situation. I know it might sound like a crazy prayer, but the thing with God is, whats important for us, is important for Him. What might seem so small and stupid to ask God for a help or to send a prayer up, is BIG time to Him, because He wants us to go to Him for EVERYTHING!!! I do pray that God will send someone that can fix it or replace it all for a good price, since the money that I'm getting back wont build me a new fence. If you have any prayer request or any questions, don't hesitate to leave a comment with them or you can send me an email at JoyRachelsHeart@aol.com.
I pray that everyone has a blessed day!
Friday, May 9, 2014
Be still
Be still and know that I am God.
Psalms 46:10
What is it to be still in God, mean to you? If your like me that runs ninety miles to nothing, either because you take care of your children, your spouse, your parents or you just cant seem to catch up, it can be hard to set a certain amount of time alone with just you and God and to just acknowledge our Savior. I know our God is a jealous God and He gives and He takes away and I feel if we put people or things in front of God, He can and will remove them so our focus can be put back on Him.
The cell phone......to me is the enemies way of distracting us. Yes, we have free will, but how much time does the average person spend on their cell phone, whether its a text, a game, social media, or just reading the news?
I have stepped away from alot of things lately. I don't know if its because I cant hear God so easily, or maybe its because I realized how much trash I really feed my mind when my face could be in Gods word. I have deleted my facebook, stopped playing games and at times look at my phone staring at it and then shutting it off, because it was such a habit to look at it and use it. Do I still use my phone? Yes. I still use it to talk or to use for directions or to google som
Do I think its a sin to play games or be on social media? No, but I ask you this, do you spend more time on worldly things, temporary self gratifying things, more than talking with God or learning about Him?
I have learned that I want to do everything that glorifies God, that can be a purpose for my life here on this earth. I want to share Him and when Hes looking down on me, be proud of my works that are for Him.
It took me a bump in my life for me to notice where my heart was and the direction I was going. My focus was in man and I depended on man to satisfy me and that is something that is impossible. Only God can truly satisfy us 100%. I will keep walking this walk, till God places someone in my life and I will keep walking this walk and not put so much expectations on a man, but see them as Christ sees them. A sinner, loving them, forgiving them and realizing they arnt perfect but have been died for. What a relief that my heavenly Father looks at me like that, but even with more love than I could ever express or feel.
I ask you, where is your heart today? Has someone let you down? Has someone hurt you? Are you tired, weak and weary? I know a God who can heal you, love you, hold you in ways that is truly satisfying. Just remember that we have all failed someone in this life and have failed our God, but His mercy is everlasting. I pray for you today that you somehow will find peace, love and comfort in your struggle or trial or even your simple bump in the road, that God will open your eyes to the reason of the hardship!!
GOD BLESS!
Remember.......BE STILL!! Even if that is going to a closet or a bathroom, shutting off all the lights and just meditating in God. He hears our hearts even when we don't have the words to say!
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Im an addict......
March 2014
I have realized, with Gods help of course, that I'm addicted to worrying. Even when life is going grand, I still will find something to worry about. I never was at full content peace and I know now that worrying is a sin, because you are not trusting God and putting your faith in Him.
As I have been reading this book, Ive realized that its mainly because I have alot of wrong things happen to me in the past and so I naturally am used to constantly worrying as a human and waiting for the next storm to come. Scripture states that God wants us to be at peace.
Another thing I realized, which I knew this before, but I live in the future and the past. Rarely will I live in the now and whats going on now. I'm always looking weeks and months ahead or looking at what the past did. The truth is, God lives in the presence and He wants us to focus on the NOW. He walks with us right now, yes he will be there in the future, but He is with us always, right now.
Right now in my life, the stage I'm in right now, is a learning stage. Honestly, I'm very blessed and right now there is nothing horrible going on and for that I am very grateful and blessed. I am learning to take my growing and what God is teaching me one day at a time. He amazes me at everything that I'm learning and what I'm realizing about myself. Like I said before, I really thought I was this good Godly woman, with some issues and of course wasn't perfect, but Ive realized, I was very limited to being used, because of my mentality. My mentality has been wrong this whole time and I can see how it has put strain on so many of my relationships. It can be, me being a neat freak and not enjoying company over because I'm right behind them cleaning up. It could be having a neat home that feels like a museum, because every item has a place and it cant get out of order. What kind of living is that??? I worry about holidays that are months away, and for all I know I wont be here to even live it. We don't know, only God does.
ts definitely a learning time for me and I'm learning to not worry and be in the shadow of my Lord and let him have all my worries and anxieties and allowing Him to guide me in this life. I realized that a big problem of mine was that I would give it all over to God and then I would take it back and then do it again, it was a constant cycle and it was wrong. I wasn't fully trusting and having faith that Gods plan and will for my life is the best one. What I might want at the time, isn't going to happen no matter how much stress and worry I do, because Gods plan is still going to happen.
God has been so good to me and has had alot of patience with me throughout my life, but this stage of my life, I'm learning so much and its such an eye opener. I just feel like God is getting me ready to speak, to share my testimony, to share other stories of my life. I know I need to grow and learn to not worry and to trust Him more so he can guide me where He wants me to go. I'm building my self-confidence up and.....there are no words. If this is how much Ive learned in a month, I cant imagine what another month will bring!!!
I have realized, with Gods help of course, that I'm addicted to worrying. Even when life is going grand, I still will find something to worry about. I never was at full content peace and I know now that worrying is a sin, because you are not trusting God and putting your faith in Him.
As I have been reading this book, Ive realized that its mainly because I have alot of wrong things happen to me in the past and so I naturally am used to constantly worrying as a human and waiting for the next storm to come. Scripture states that God wants us to be at peace.
Another thing I realized, which I knew this before, but I live in the future and the past. Rarely will I live in the now and whats going on now. I'm always looking weeks and months ahead or looking at what the past did. The truth is, God lives in the presence and He wants us to focus on the NOW. He walks with us right now, yes he will be there in the future, but He is with us always, right now.
Right now in my life, the stage I'm in right now, is a learning stage. Honestly, I'm very blessed and right now there is nothing horrible going on and for that I am very grateful and blessed. I am learning to take my growing and what God is teaching me one day at a time. He amazes me at everything that I'm learning and what I'm realizing about myself. Like I said before, I really thought I was this good Godly woman, with some issues and of course wasn't perfect, but Ive realized, I was very limited to being used, because of my mentality. My mentality has been wrong this whole time and I can see how it has put strain on so many of my relationships. It can be, me being a neat freak and not enjoying company over because I'm right behind them cleaning up. It could be having a neat home that feels like a museum, because every item has a place and it cant get out of order. What kind of living is that??? I worry about holidays that are months away, and for all I know I wont be here to even live it. We don't know, only God does.
ts definitely a learning time for me and I'm learning to not worry and be in the shadow of my Lord and let him have all my worries and anxieties and allowing Him to guide me in this life. I realized that a big problem of mine was that I would give it all over to God and then I would take it back and then do it again, it was a constant cycle and it was wrong. I wasn't fully trusting and having faith that Gods plan and will for my life is the best one. What I might want at the time, isn't going to happen no matter how much stress and worry I do, because Gods plan is still going to happen.
God has been so good to me and has had alot of patience with me throughout my life, but this stage of my life, I'm learning so much and its such an eye opener. I just feel like God is getting me ready to speak, to share my testimony, to share other stories of my life. I know I need to grow and learn to not worry and to trust Him more so he can guide me where He wants me to go. I'm building my self-confidence up and.....there are no words. If this is how much Ive learned in a month, I cant imagine what another month will bring!!!
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