Major Eye-Opener: An Illustrated Sermon on Spiritual Warfare

I loved this video.  I love the illustration that it gave.  I know I'm in a battle right now and its a constant pull and tug.  I have been doing everything that I know to keep my eyes on the Lord, but the enemy attacks my mind, my thoughts, my heart and my faith and also the people around me.  I have had thoughts of suicide lately, even though I know they arnt my thoughts.  I read the Bible daily, constantly learning.  I know its why I'm a target. 



One thing I know about me is that I'm very driven.  I am determined to fight for relationships, I'm determined to reach the goal that I set for myself, I'm determined to try my hardest and walk with God as close as possible.  It can get very difficult when you wake up in fear, when driving down the road you cry out of sadness or you get angry for no reason.  These wave of emotions are Satan's way of trying to tear me down.  He fills my mind with doubts and tells me nothing good will ever come out of my life.  My faith is starting to weaken, but the most important thing of this, is I know that he is attacking me.  It can be so hard, but I refuse to let him defeat me, for my Savior already won the battle.  I have to keep fighting.  I have to keep reading God's word, staying strong, not stray from my Heavenly Father, keep pushing through this battle that is going on with my life right now.  I know once I get through this battle, I will see the light, I will have peace and rest, but I know its going to be hard before the calm.  I have had 6 months of tools that God has prepared for me, I have to put the armor on and cling to the promise God has told me.  When its all said and done, Ill be that much stronger and that much more of a witness to others, which is something I pray for.



Please pray for me.....

You want to know how good my God is?

So I had a pretty rough week.  Everyday I had something to do and it seemed like my life was going no where and I was getting overwhelmed with doing alot of things by myself.  God has still been silent and I needed someone to talk too, but I needed someone who would talk back.  It seemed like all my friends had their lives busy and I just needed some encouragement that everything was going to be okay.  

In the mail I got my flier like I do every week from First Baptist about whats happening at the church for the next week or so.  I usually open it up, read a little and then throw it away.  Though this time when opening up the flier, something changed.  Words popped off the page and stood out like no other.  In a small fine print was a church and a class that I felt in the pit of my stomach to go too.  

Most of my friends know that God has been laying on my heart to find a church home.  As much as I love First Baptist, I never have felt led to join there and its been about a month or so that even the class I was attending too, I felt distant from.  My heart has been yearning to find a church home where I can be a part of a church family and help others, possibly teaching or help teaching, for I have been learning so much about the Bible and God and learning to obey and having a close relationship with Him.  I know I need to go spread the Word and share with others what I have learned.

Over the next few days, my thoughts were consumed of this place, I knew in my heart this was God telling me to go.  Sunday morning rolls around and I wake up before my alarm goes off.  I get ready and head to this church.  After I drop my grandpa off, I plug in the address in my GPS, because I didn't know exactly where it was.  I knew the area it was in, but I never go on this side of town, so I needed directions.  I had 10 minutes to get there on time for the class and when I put the address in my GPS it wouldn't work, it just kept searching.  I knew waking up that morning that the enemy was on my tail trying to discourage me and put thoughts in my head to not go.  I knew that he would try his hardest to make this difficult for me.  I ended up turning off my phone and restarting it, hoping it would work as I drove.  When the phone came back on, it never was connecting and so I smiled a big smile and said, "Okay God, you want me to go, your going to have to direct me."  While driving and looking at my phone at a map the old fashion way, while it was never updating, I had thoughts of, "Well, if I'm not there in time for class, Ill just sit in my car till church service, cause I don't want to walk in as a new person and everyone stare at me," "Rachel, are you sure your supposed to go, it wouldn't be this difficult if it was meant to be", "Maybe, you can just turn around and head to a different church".  I knew in my heart that was the devil trying to discourage me, because I knew the peace I had that I was supposed to go to this church.

So I'm driving and I'm still looking at my map trying to figure out where to go.  I pass a street I know and end up passing it and turning around because alot of cars was turning there. I thought, "Oh, they must be going to church!" When I turned around, I realized they were going to a fast food place.  I laughed and kept driving down that road that I turned on.  I knew that I needed to get back on the main road so I got back on and was totally backwards from where I thought I was.  I turn left and kept driving straight.  I still kept looking down at my phone and it had me way off from where I was.  I kept driving and knew I was getting to far from everything and I knew I needed to turn around.  In that moment, I see a street to where I can turn around, but I passed it by 10 feet, but when I looked at the sign, it was the street I needed.  I remember thinking, "NO WAY!"  I did a U-turn in the middle of the road illegally and had tears rolling down my face.

Jesus makes me happy :)

Now I know you might be thinking, "Why in the world would you get so emotional over that?"  I'll tell you why.  In that moment it was more feelings and God touching my heart than just a found street.  First, it was God leading me and me trusting Him that He will get me to where I need to go.  I knew in my heart it was more than just a church, it was God reminding me that in my life He is still leading me and He will get me to where I need to go, I need to keep trusting Him.  Second, it was a reminder that the enemy will try anything and everything to distract me or feel me with doubt, but I need to follow my heart.  The enemy was just talking up a storm in the car to me and I cant lie and say I didn't think about listening to him, because it would of been easy and simple.  My heart though is what I wanted, even though I was a little nervous to be walking into a new church all alone.  Third, right when I was about to turn around is when God stopped me in my tracks and showed me the way.  That can be applied to all of our lives if we allow God to guide us.

Now I cant say that it ended there.  I pull into the parking lot and park and get out.  Theres a man standing there that helps guide people to where they need to go.  I went up to him and told him that I was looking for this certain class and he said, "Sure let me help you."  He introduced himself and said, "Hi, I'm Brian, whats your name?"  My initial thought was, "Of course you are" (I swear every person I meet is named Brian).  I told him that my name is Rachel and right when I said that my phone says, "You have reached your destination".  To my phone: Well, didn't you decide to start working at a great time, considering I'm already here!!!!  You might think I'm crazy, but I knew then that the enemy was trying to stop me from going and wanting me to get aggravated and frustrated to not go.  I really know in my heart that he had some power over my phone, but when I got there he was done, he lost!

Now the man guided me to where I needed to go, handed me over to another man and then to my teacher.  It was a full class to where they were bringing in chairs from outside and the teacher kept calling me Angela, so everyone got a kick out of it, including myself, I can be a jokester.  Service was good and I enjoyed myself.  To be honest, I don't know where God wants me to go, its something that I will need to keep praying about.  When the incident happened and God showing me where to go, I knew in my heart that was why I was supposed to go there.  God used a GPS to show me how He is directing my life.  He used going to a place that I have been by once, to show me He will not let me down and He will guide me to where I'm going if I just simply trust and believe.  God works in mysterious ways and I have been so vulnerable to wanting to hear God and have Him show me things.  It shows that God doesn't have to speak to me in order for me to listen, its simply Him working in His loving ways for me to see that He is still working in my life.  Sometimes when  everyday happens and it seems like you don't have a purpose or that maybe God forgot about you, its the simple reminders that mean so much to me.  It was a reminder that not even my friends could tell me when I wanted some encouragement.  God knew what I needed when I needed it, but it took my obedience and me following what He laid on my heart, for Him to show me a true blessing.  If I never went or if I listened to the enemies lies because it would be "easier", I would of missed out on true peace, the best gift Jesus left us.  

John 14:27 

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Spiritual Warefare

Lately, I feel like I got to the end of my rope.  I didn't understand where I was going or what God was doing in my life.  I was just ready for something new and something different.  One day before work, I had about 15 minutes and so I got on Youtube and started watching a Joyce Meyers video.  To be honest, I cant even remember what it was about, but within the first 5 minutes, she said she would recommend everyone read at least one good book on Spiritual Warefare.  Well, maybe that's what the video was about. ha!  Anyways, I don't know what happened to me, but that's what I did.  I went straight online and found a book for sale on Spiritual Warfare by Derek Prince for $3.00 with free shipping and handling.  I ordered it and couldn't wait for it to come in the mail.  It came a few days later and I started reading it and got half way done.  I was trying to tell my grandpa about it and he read 15 chapters straight and my grandpa don't read books, just the Bible.  So while getting ready one day, I googled Spiritual Warefare in Youtube and came across John Paul Jackson.  He started talking and it was the exact same thing the book said.  I got up and went to the living room where my grandpa was reading the book and asked who the author was, and they wernt the same people.  That grabbed my attention.

My heart started opening up and the desire to learn about all this started seeping through my veins.  Ive noticed some people around whom I care about deeply are struggling.  I, myself this past week was struggling.  I knew I was close to God and was doing His will, but at the same time, was very bitter and sad and even having suicide thoughts.  I knew they wernt from me and so that's why I seeked out to try and figure out what I need to do, since this was a spiritual battle within me.

God has given me this desire to learn and Hes opening my eyes to things that I never even thought about before, that I need to know to pray right and live right.

Here's part of the book I'm reading, it is talking about putting on the armor of God:

When we go out against Satan, if we begin to cause him any trouble, you can be sure he will counterattack.  First, he may counterattack our minds, our hearts, our bodies, or our finances, so we need to have a shield that covers us.  He will attack any area he can reach.  If he cannot attack us, he will attack those closest to us.

When I read that, I understood.  I have been doing so good, of course I'm human and struggle with something, whether it be working alot or feeling lonely or just having a bad day, but now my friends around me have been distant and going through their own struggles.  Could the devil not be getting to me, so he went to my friends and pull them away, so then in turn I will feel lonely? What alot of people don't know about me is that I don't have family like the majority of people on this earth.  I don't have a mother or a father, sister or brothers, or even a close family that live nearby.  I do have my grandpa and that's it, other than my friends who I consider my family.  I do wish I had a close family, so I wouldn't have to bug my friends so much, but that's not the plans God has for me, maybe one day when I'm married.

The book then says in a different chapter talking about when the devil was trying to tempt Jesus on the mount:

Second, the basis of every temptation against Jesus was a temptation to doubt.  Every time Satan began with the word "if," he called something into doubt.  Jesus used the words, "It is written....it is written.....It is also written".  We must know scripture thoroughly and we must know how to apply Scripture if we are going to be able to handle the Devil.  We must be careful of people who misapply Scripture and try to tempt us to do the wrong thing.  It is significant that the sword of the Spirit is not the Bible on the bookshelf or on the nightstand.  That does not scare the Devil.  But when you take the Scripture in your mouth and quote it directly, then it becomes the sword of the Spirit.  We must take the Sword.  The Holy Spirit will not do that for us, but when we take the sword in faith, then the Holy Spirit gives us the power and the wisdom to use it.

If you don't know, the above paragraph keeps saying Sword.  The sword is part of the armor of God and its the Word of God (Bible) Ephesians 6:17.  

As I have been studying lately in books and watching sermons, I keep my heart on guard if something sounds fishy or something that maybe doesn't make sense, I will do my research to see if I'm reading something false or accurate.  As a Christian, we need to know the truth and what the Bible says. There will be times when someone comes up to you and wants to know Christ and its our duty to know or show them.  There will be times when someone will challenge you and we should know the truth.  I'm not saying we should know everything and where its all at, but we should know whats true for the most part and whats not.  I can sit here and say I don't know the whole Bible or each and every story, but I know alot to where I may be skeptical on something if its too far from truth.

I love this fire God has for me to learn.  I carry a book around everywhere I go, constantly reading and learning His word and bettering myself.  I'm not quite sure what God is preparing me for or if this is just something I, as a Christian needs to learn and do.  Back about 5 months ago I prayed for God to mold me and as a good Christian godly wife, I feel this is part of it.  I need to be able to teach my children and help my husband when times get hard for them spiritually.  I need to learn to pray right and have a strong foundation.

I mentioned in an earlier post where I felt like God wanted me to teach a Sunday school class or some form of people.  This could also be a part of it.  God is working in my life and I'm allowing Him to do whatever it takes for me to get to where He wants me to go.  Let me tell you when I say it can be challenging at times.  I get discouraged, I get sad, I get lonely, I feel like giving up, but God picks me up, brushes me off and gives me more strength to keep going.  

I do pray for anyone who may be going through a Spiritual battle right now.  The truth of the matter is, its real and it happens!  God gives us tools and an armor to wear when times like this happen.

Ephesians 6:11-12

Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

BAM!  It talks about our battle is against the dark world, evil, Satan and his posse.  Alot of the battle is in our mind, the thoughts, the doubts, the struggles, the insecurities.  Its up to you to learn and to understand and see when the enemy is whispering those sweet nothings in your ear and telling you your not worth anything and your never going to mount to nothing.  Just know our God is a loving God who loves and cares about us and wants to give us our hearts desires, the desires He has put there.

Are you closer to God today, then you were a year ago?

If you say "No", then I would really suggest you look at your life and see why or what is pulling you away from Him.

If you say, "Its the same", then I would really like to ask you to ask yourself why hasn't it gotten stronger?  What can you do to draw closer or maybe take away something in your life that is stopping you from being closer?

If you say "Yep, I'm alot closer Rachel", then I would say, "YOU GO GIRL/BOY!!!" 

I wonder in your walk with Christ, if something had to happen for you to have a closer relationship, or if it was just simply you wanting to learn and seek God.  Living in today's modern world with all the electronics and hectic busy lifestyle, its hard to stay focused and take time for God.  Some people get up a little early before everyone is up and say their prayers and read their Bible.  Some people watch sermons in the morning or pray while getting ready for the day.  Some journal or maybe pray while driving in their car.  No way is a wrong way, but as long as your relationship with Christ is first and strong, that's the most important thing.

When things are going good in our lives, we get comfortable and slack, I'm totally guilty of that as I'm sure everyone reading this can agree.  Right when tragedy happens or a scare at a Dr's appointment or you just feel alone and heartbroken, is when alot of us run to God and its a great feeling to know someone is still there for us.  If you are reading this and you don't know Christ as your Saviour, then I would really love to share with you how to get to know Him.  If you want to do it privately, your can email me at JoyRachelsHeart@aol.com.

To know and have God in our lives is something we should really try and not forget and take for granted.  Our Heavenly Father is of love, mercy and grace and He wants to pour His blessings on us.  God cares more about our relationship with Him than how much we're doing for Him.  He wants us to spend time with Him, just like a parent does to their child.

If you are going through a difficulty time in your life, what is God trying to do in your life?  What does God want to change in you through this season of your life?  Instead of asking why, we got to start asking what?  

If you are wondering what Gods plan or purpose in your life is, just ask God.  Taking matters into your own hands instead if patiently waiting for God to unveil His will in your life is going to get you in trouble every time.  Trying to accomplish your plans in your own way instead of waiting for God's timing is a sure way to lose your peace and security.  There are no shortcuts to God's will.  If you long to move past the stripping process, get used to enduring as long as it takes for Gods will to unfold in your life.

Alot of times we just want to give up when things arnt going our way or it seems like its not coming soon enough for us.  I know that I battle with this at times.  I have those thoughts of, "Well if I'm still in the same boat next year I'm going to do _______."  The truth of the matter is, I have no idea whats going to happen next year or tomorrow for that matter, so there is no need for me to worry about what may or may not happen next year.  I was a HUGE "what if" girl and I can proudly say that I broke that mold.  I have even been caught telling people, "Stop what the what if's, 99% of the time, none of them will happen".  Its a big part of control, so once you give your control up to God, life gets so much happier and peaceful.  

God has been stripping me of all my bad habits and things that I said and did that dampened my walk with Him.  I can look back half a year ago and can tell how far away I was from God being able to use me.  I was selfish, had image issues, wanted control over every aspect of my life and alot more.  It was God taking away the very thing I knew that God Himself gave me, for me to really fully understand how much I didn't truly appreciate it at the time.  I knew because God gave me someone that the someone would never go away and boy was I wrong.  Truth be told, I didn't deserve it, but it had to take God placing on my heart a wonderful God fearing man and handing him over to me on a platter and then taking it away for me to see what I lost.  Yes, I do believe that God gives and takes away.  I'm one of those people that wants all of Gods best and I will do whatever I need to do to get it.  I knew I needed to be stripped, I knew I needed to be alone, I knew I needed to be empty and alone for God to start working.  Did I want to go through the process?  Of course not, it stinks, especially at the beginning.  I took this time to do the very thing I knew I should be doing.  

What is standing in your way from God right now?  Is there anything that you would not want to give up?  Is there something or someone hindering your walk with Christ or maybe is coming before it?  Just know that nothing and no one on this earth is yours, for everything is of Gods.  I am going to try my hardest, for that's all I can do, from preventing anything or anyone coming before my God.  I don't want to lose or something being taken away from my jealous God because I loved it or maybe treasured it more than I do Him.  

I pray that you reading this, will surrender anything that is hindering your walk.  I pray that God will open up your eyes to whatever that is blocking your true walk with Christ today.  Just remember that we were created for God.  We always ask God for things in our lives, but have you asked God lately what you can do for Him?  We were created for Him, to serve Him and to love Him, but we are so quick to ask what He can do for us.  Don't get me wrong, God wants us to go to Him for everything, but wouldn't it be nice to ask God to help someone or to show love and compassion to someone?  God will place people in your lives and you never know who you may touch or can be a witness too.  The things on this earth and the problems we face will pass, but eternity is forever and someones soul could be saved by just a simple question to God.

I didn't know where this blog was going to go.  I allow God to let my hands type and do all the talking most of the time.  Sometimes I just have this fire of releasing what I feel and when I'm done, most of the time I read it and it doesn't even sound like me.  Its a small way of allowing God to work in my life and hopefully helping or encouraging someone whether someone reads it 5 minutes after I post, or 5 years later.  

I pray that your walk is strong or getting stronger with the Lord.  Obstacles and tough times will come, but that's what the Bible tells us.  God is always there though and never leaves or forsakes.  Fall into the arms of Jesus!!!

 

James 1:2-4

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Whats your story?

As Christians we all have a story, a testimony of what God has done in our lives.  We have a story to share about who we were and who we are now giving the credit to Jesus and what He has done in our lives.  Do you ever share your story to others?  Do you share your story of how you came to know Christ?  Do you share the stories of how you were in your darkest days and trials and how God brought you out of them?  Maybe your like me who has been in a season of growth, do you share how God revealed to you your weaknesses and faults so you could work on them?  Maybe God took someone out of your life with choice or death and how you overcame that with leaning on God?

Just like Jesus when He died and was resurrected and no one knew who He was until He showed them His scars.  It was what He did for us that He kept, His scars, to show others in a physical form.  I know I have physical scars on my body from surgeries or from falling down and scrapping myself on something.  I have one major surgery from having my kidney removed due to cancer.  Sometimes I get insecure about it because I know forever that I will never have a "perfect body", but keeping me alive is way more important and its also a story I can share how God delivered me.  I'm sure most of us have a scar they can share a story to us on our physical bodies, but what about the scars on our hearts?  You could of lost a child, been abused, got cheated on and divorced.  Maybe you grew up in an abusive (verbal, physical, sexual) home as a child or have been alone most of your life.  No matter what the scar that you have, sharing it could help someone else who maybe has or is going through that.  

I recall growing up going through something as a small child which in turn I felt alone.  I thought at 5 or 6 years old that I thought something was wrong with me.  I didn't intend to share my story, but that's what this post is about so I'm going to go ahead and share it.  When I was a child I had a family member touch me inappropriately.  The person who did it was a child himself so as Ive gotten older there are no hard feelings, but while I was going through that as a child, I thought I did something wrong or I was a bad person.  I wish someone would of shared their story with me.  In fact, my mother growing up always told me if someone touches me wrong in my private parts to tell her.  One night she asked me if anyone has, like she would occasionally and I told her.  Afterwards, I ended up going to counseling as a child because of my thoughts and how I felt.  A few months after my mother died, I found out when she was 16 that she had gotten raped by some strangers.  I was in shock!  My mother knew what I was going through as a child, why didn't she tell me?  I know my mother had her reasons, but I wish I could ask her why?  I know I wouldn't of felt so alone and felt like something was wrong with me.  My mother and I had a very close relationship and was open to each other, but that is one thing that I learned.  I don't want others to feel alone in a struggle or something they might have gone through.  I feel in a way that's why God has made me such an open person.

Looking back on my life I have gone through many situations in which I have scars on my heart from.  I have lost my mother, 3 babies, been divorced and lost the man that I feel God has given me.  I know there are other many scars, including the cancer that though I have it in physical form, it always is on my heart.  I appreciate life more and value my health and have faced what its like to possibly not have a long time to live.

I know people who arnt open to their life's struggles or don't like to broadcast their mistakes or weaknesses, I totally understand.  I actually have told maybe a handful of people the story that I wasn't going to share because its something I rarely think about, but looking at it, I feel its why I am the way I am now.  I know that everything we go through is for a reason and if it can help someone, then share it!  I feel the most comfortable is when I'm going through a struggle and I find someone who is going through the same thing or just went through it.  They understand, they get it!  They know how to help me, what to say and even know how to pray because they too felt what I was feeling at that moment.  The people I really don't understand are the people who make their lives seems like its perfect.  Let me ask, what and how is that helping anyone?  I can just see alot of people looking at their lives trying to figure out why their life cant be perfect like them and in reality behind closed doors and internally of that individual they are probably struggling more.

My point to this blog really is if there is anyone around you that may be going through something that you have gone through or maybe is going through it now, reach out!!  There might be a lost person who needs Jesus and you can share what Jesus did for you in your life when you went through it or what Jesus is doing in your life now while your going through it.  My season of growth and facing my faults and weaknesses, I wouldn't trade for anything.  Of course I would of loved of been preparing for my wedding to the man that I feel God gave me, but what kind of a wife would I have been?  How could God use me when I was selfish and had image issues and was controlling?  Now that God has stripped me and I now have a scar on my heart of being stripped, I can be used!  I can be ready for the time God places him in my life and be that wife and mother that He has created me to be.  I'm not perfect, never have been and never will be, but that's what God can use with us.  Our imperfections, our scars, our trials and storms and even the scars we cause ourselves are lessons, strength, and hopefully to draw us closer to God so we in turn, can help others.

 

Our scars are priceless treasures that our Master has entrusted to us.  We can choose to invest those treasures in the lives of others, or we can choose t hide them because of fear.  Satan will do everything he can to tempt you not to trust God because he knows your willingness to place yourself in God's holy hands will leave to full redemption..Redemption is when the pain is treated and turned around so thoroughly that it not only loses its power to do you harm but also gains the power to do some good.  Scars do not simply represent healing or the end of a struggle, but the beginning of a ministry.

 

To live by grace means to acknowledge your whole life story, the light side and the dark.  In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God's grace means.

I love LOVE!

Romantic song that I LOVE!

 I would like to consider myself a hopeless romantic.  I love all the gushy love sap movies and dream of it all happening to me.  I know, just as well as you do, most of the time it doesn't happen that way.  Ive seen couples who you know are in love and it shows.  I can admit that in my past, Ive wanted things to be "perfect" that I would give him some sort of list or ways to do things so it could be "perfect".  I find nothing more romantic now is when I see a guy give his all the way he wants too.  I hate that I feel as if I stripped alot away from true romance in my life for me trying to control situations.  

I love LOVE!  Its a gift from God and God does care about our love life.  Its hard sometimes to walk around in love with someone whom you cant be with.  I pray daily for God to write my love story.  I know God has put this desire in my heart.  

I was sharing with my grandpa the other day that the desire that burns within my heart is to have a home where people can come over and have Bible studies and where the women meet in the kitchen and the men are grilling on the deck and where the kids run around in the backyard.  I would love to be married to a very godly man who wants to serve and please the Lord with everything he has.  I want to have a family where we raise the kids to glorify God and teach them the ways of living a Christian life with morals and values.  I want the cheesy, riding in an SUV with Christian music playing and my babies singing to God.  I want to be a part of a church family where my husband and I can be an example and encourage and help kids, teens and young adults.  I want my husband to hold my hand and we pray together and our family pray together.

I know life isn't that picture perfect, but I know I didn't stick this desire in my heart.  Its there, swarming around and I know that God is lining everything up.  I let God know that Im here, I'm here to be used and I'm thankful for the desires that God has placed on my heart.  I'm also very thankful and extremely blessed the past 5 to 6 months and how God has molded me.  I'm not near perfect, but right now I'm still learning Gods word, getting healthier and helping others and I'm waiting on God to show me what to do next.  This life is a journey and its a big lesson.  We can either take the hard times and grow and draw near to God, or we can take them ourselves and learn the hard way or delay the process in which God has for us.  I have had many lessons and this time, I didn't want to delay the process or learn the hard way.  I didn't want myself to be in long suffering as from before

.  

God has been amazing to me and has opened my eyes up in a very loving and patiently manner.  I still have my moments of impatience just like every human walking this earth battles, but at the end of the day, I know God has me here for  a reason and while I wait on the next best thing from God, I will praise Him! :)

Chosen?

Anytime in your life, have you felt Chosen from God?  Like there was a greater purpose for you?  

My whole life, I have always felt like I was made for a specific reason, that this life had great meaning.  I havent lived a perfect life, but most of the time I really have tried to do whats right.  I always wanted to please God and be His best.  Since God has been stripping me of all my faults, my eyes have been opened up, that this whole time I was really blinded.  Never in my life, have I ever felt this closest to God, in fact with me not hearing Him, has even made this time alot peaceful, because instead of hearing Him, I feel Him and I know Im doing what Im supposed too.

I got a new book, called "Stripped", by Lina Abujamra and I cant put it down.  She breaks down all the reasons why God will allow you to go through pain, heartbreak, loss of everything, for God to strip you so you turn to Him.  At this point in my life, I am soley relying on God and I giggle writing it, because I just wrote it all wrong.  "At this point in my life", isnt that sad?  The truth is, I want it to be from now till forever.  I cant rely and trust man, with everything I need to trust God.  I know personally, I always put the men in my life above God.  I dont plan on it to happen, but somehow over time it happens and I pray for God to work with me with that. I never want to do that again, that is my weakness, my failure.  I can see why God would remove these men in my life, because our God is a jealous God and I know He will strip away anything that comes before Him.

I cant sit here and claim that I know anyone elses hearts and their walk with God, because thats not for me to know.  I do look around at some Christians and wonder why some people had it harder than others.  I do wonder what Gods purpose if for them in their lives.  I know if you look at almost any story in the Bible, they were stripped in order to see God the way He wanted them too.  Lina uses the story of Samson and how his pride got the best of him.  It had to take cutting his hair for his "ego" to be stripped.  I ask myself, what is it in my life that is causing a roadblock from God?  Im pretty sure, the past 5 months or so God has been stripping me a layer at a time like an onion.  

I can look back at my life and see how some things didnt go to plan, so that God could get me to where I am right now.  He has put people in my life and taken them away.  I have seen doors open and seen doors shut as Im sure all of us have.  So my question is to you, Why do you think those people came and gone and doors have been opened and closed in your life?  What is going possibly showing you?

I think sometimes we need to look back and see how God works.  Let me share a little story.

The other day my friend and I walked up Mt. Scott.  Mt. Scott is a farely small mountain in Oklahoma, roughly 3-4 miles up in driving distance.  We walked up the mountain and back down.  My friend dosent do too well with heat, so about half way up I gave her a bottle of mine t

No matter where we are, God will always provide!

o drink and cool off.   A little bit later she learned she ran out of water.  I was starting to get limited on water, so I gave her another one and asked her to reserve it, because we still needed to go down.  I didnt know this, but she prayed for water, because she told me later she got scared.  Now we are on a mountain, a little over half way up, no one around, no store, no waterhose, nothing!  As we walked farther there was a water bottle glistening in the sun on the ledge standing up.  I said, "I think theres a bottle of water sitting there".  Sure enough there was an UN-opened bottle of water waiting for her.  The odds are slim of that happening, but either if someone left it, or if it was sent from God himself, God still provided in times when it seemed hopeless.

Now that is my God right there!!!  Someone who will provide, whom I can lean upon, who I can trust to take care of my needs.  I can see God working in that and to me it was a HUGE reminder of what God can do in my life with ANYTHING!

Have you ever thought about what Jesus went through for us?  How much do you ask God for something in your life?  How many times do you get mad when something didnt go your way and you blame God?  :raises hand:  Im guilty and Im ashamed.  God gave His Son to die on the cross for me and because something so little didnt go my way or someone stayed to be with me, I get upset.  I know Im human and its in my genes to get upset, but at the end of my life, what will be most important?  

I hope my walk with God, as close as it is right now, in fact the closest Ive ever been, never goes away.  No matter if I get married one day or have children, my number one relationship should and needs to be God.  Maybe this time was to see my weaknesses, my failures, my issues and to learn to walk with God and depend on Him and only Him, in a way where Im being trained.  I want to be able to give my all to my future husband, the new and improved me who God has shaped and molded.  I dont know  how many tests I have left before my future spouse walks into my life, but I want to be the best for him and I hope and pray he is becoming the best man in God for me.  I know I have been chosen to do Gods will, whatever that may be and I know I will need a spouse who will support it or more importantly, be involved in the ministry work.  

So here I am, a peeled onion, stinky and fresh that will burn your eyes, because Im burning for the Lord!!!  Please pray and ask God if you have been chosen for something for His plan, or if you too have felt this burning sensation your whole life or most of your life that God has great plans for you, something specific.  Ask God to reveal it to you or to prepare it for you, but beware, because most times, you will be stripped!