End of times

I know people think I'm crazy.  I know even my Christian friends, don't understand and I feel they have blinders on their eyes of this world.  For some reason, I look at some of my friends and even the most strongest Christians I know, and they don't know the truth, but sometimes I wonder if they want to know.

I'm not sure why God has chosen me to be so eager to learn about His word and has shown me so many things of this evil, evil corrupt world.  We just "accept" so many things and I'm guilty of it too.  We think that cussing on TV is something we can overlook.  We see half naked or even naked people on TV, movies, Internet or just pictures through apps, or wherever and overlook it.  We see homosexuals flaunt themselves and act out and yet, we accept it.  We have just molded into this world, in which scripture says to not be of this world.  As a Christian, someone who walks with their Lord, wouldn't we somehow be convicted and get rid of, or not associate ourselves with these things?  We see famous people act immoral and we laugh or just talk about it the next day about how bad it is.  Even the music these days, honestly, makes me sick to my stomach.  When I listen to anything other than Christian now a days, I just feel this evil presence come across me, that I'm feeding my mind and my spirit something not of God.

I get it, you might be reading this and be thinking...."Wow Rachel, you are taking this WAY to serious!"  Maybe I am, but Id rather take it WAY to serious and be walking with my God, then to be walking of this world. 

I know Ive mentioned before in my other blog about the Illuminati.  That's really when my friends start rolling their eyes.  If they really took the time and studied it, they would know that it matches with the scriptures and the end of times.  They would also know, that scripture says, its our duty and responsibility to watch for signs for the end of times.  Scripture talks about the mark of the beast.  Illuminati, isn't just a word that Hollywood is all about.  Its a plan, its Satan's work at its best, to line everything up, to have control of this world, to have a New World Order, which is One Nation and of course we are blinded by crap of this world, cause we are in our phones, watching lies on television and people devaluing themselves, that we have no clue.  We  have this mentality that we cant do anything about it, or its gonna happen, so theres no point.  Really?  Right now, by me typing this, I'm doing something.  I'm putting a warning, a red flag, a hope that maybe whoever reads this, will see the truth.....THE TRUTH!!!!

I'm going to put a link of a video, which is the first one to watch.  If you can get past the first one, then I would really, really recommend it, because the 2nd one, which I'm currently on, talks about God and Scripture.

Brainwashing America 2014 part 1

I usually listen and watch these when I'm putting on my makeup.  I also ask that before you watch, that you pray and ask God to show you the truth, what you need to learn, and what you need to do.  I wont lie, its scary!!!  I remember as a kid, my mother would always watch the older movies of the end of times and it would freak me out.  If you are Saved by Grace, there is no need to be afraid.  Now would be the best time to learn, to watch, to teach, to warn others and to prepare yourselves for whats to come.   The truth of it all, is its going to happen whether we like it or not. 

I pray for my future husband everyday.  I pray that he knows and is willing to learn what I am led to learn.  I wonder if I will ever have a child and as a mother and a wife, I want my child to be raised up in a godly home, that knows the truth.  I remember as a child, my mother told me when I was around 12 years old, if they ask my mom to either kill me or she has to take the mark of the beast, (which by the way, will not be called that, it will have some name of its own), she told me that they would have to kill me.  It takes you by surprise as a child, but I understood, I had been saved for 4 years and was raised learning the truth. 

As I'm an adult and don't really have anyone over me inspiring me to learn on this earth, I know God is planting the seeds to learn and watch and help others.  I have a big mouth as my true friends really know and I wont shut up!!  I am here, created for God, not for myself and I will not deny Him, but I will share with others what I know, so they one day can be with me in Heaven.  My main concern as of the past couple of weeks, is actually my closest friends who never talk or are willing to learn about this.  I pray for them and I pray that they will want to know the truth.  I actually feel like sometimes I'm alone as a Christian, watching for these signs and not contributing to the world, while I watch my friends live life like its no problem. 

Ive mentioned in my other blogs, feeling alone and that's a big part.  How can a Christian see another Christian and they don't care to know or learn?  I just have to keep going and keep praying for them.

I do pray that you watch the video.  Its long, over an hour, so if you find time or bored, then watch it please.  If you have any questions, I'm here, all the time.  This is what I'm created for, to be here for people who need help, advice, encouragement and prayer.  I'm always a listening ear.  You can email me at JoyRachelsheart@aol.com or leave a comment on here.

I'm here to spread the word, the truth and if I'm wrong, please let me know!!

Also, one thing before I go, I want to share is, if you watch this video an
d you see something or someone you enjoy listening too or watching, pray about it.  I remember when I first started learning and when the blinders came off, I had no desire anymore, but it didnt happen over night.  Now, the people just make me sick and when I hear them or their music or see them, I dont even want them to have a part of my attention.

Your storms in life can help others

When I was 16 my mother past away from ovarian cancer.  I remember this girl named Brittney just started going to the school I was going too.  She was going there a month or so when my mom died and I remember her telling me that she didn't know what she would do if her mother died.  I was a junior in high school and she was sophomore.  The following year I found out her mother died suddenly from complications from diabetes and at the time we wernt getting along, silly high school girl stuff.

I went to her moms funeral and felt so bad.  We didn't talk, but at the end I was the last person to give her a hug and I whispered, "I know exactly what your going through".  She told me a few weeks later, that meant everything to her, that someone could relate to her at that time of her life.

How many times have we gone through something and when someone else is going through the same thing or something similar, do we brush it off?  Or maybe your the type of person that will drop everything, because you know you could be a benefit to that person?  You have to remember that when you went through something, it was for a reason and because you went through it and you may even still be dealing with it, how much beneficial it could be to that other person that you know exactly what they are going through?

I have gone through a wild of crazy things in my life, from a loss of a parent at a young age, to dealing and facing cancer head on, to the loss of three precious babies due to miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies and even infertility issues.  I have had my husband leave me due to adulteress affair and even committing adultery myself after he left.  There are plenty of things I haven't faced that I would love to say I would never want to face, but the truth of the matter is, this life throws us these curve balls for a reason.  How many times have you faced something tragic or heart wrenching and when you came out of the storm you felt that much stronger and closer to God?  If this life was easy, then how could God ever truly use us?  

I have looked around before at some people I know and think, "Man, they seem to have it easy, they don't have the trials and storms, they have just mild weather come their way".  I think and wonder if I'm doing something wrong to deserve these things, or if they are doing everything right.  That's not for me to know or understand, but for me personally, I'm not sure why I have been faced with something every 3 years of my life.  My faith has been tested, I have walked away and wanted my heart to get hardened and I have cried over and over for some form of rescue and peace.  Either way, I tend to always run back to my Heavenly Father.

Ive been struggling lately.  I don't understand where I am at in life and there are no answers.  I don't try to ask for understanding, because I know I'm not supposed to know.  I have been doing everything right that I can possibly think of.  Even when I was told not to do something and I did it, the doors were closed and I felt conviction like no other.  Its easy for people to tell me what they think I should do....well poo, why didn't I think of that?  The truth of it is, I did!!! I want to do what my human self wants to do, but my heart says "NO!"  Do you know how hard it is to actually live each day feeling one way and listening to another?  I have noticed myself getting very upset more and crying more.  I have struggled with obeying God, which I am glad I am obeying, but feeling this emptiness.  I always thought that if I obeyed God and walked with Him it would always be peaceful.  The truth of the matter is, its not true.  Why you say?  Because we are human and there is no understanding of what we think and what God thinks.  My favorite scripture....Proverbs 3:5-6, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths.  I wear that scripture on my ring and I love it, but its hard.  I am trusting God without my own understanding, but as human we want control.  I do trust God, but its not happening on my time and my ways, which is the hardest to surrender.

A year ago I prayed for my heart to not be broken and it was.  Now I'm waiting on it to be shattered pretty much, which is a horrible way to live, but there is nothing I can do.  I am simply waiting and trusting God that He has some form of a great plan and this is all in His plan.  I can say, I'm getting tired.

So why I shared all this, which may seem as if they don't go together, is I'm going through something that NO ONE can really help me with.  No one can say anything, no one can do anything, but pray.  People look at my life, like I'm crazy and that I'm doing this to myself and hey....sometimes I start to think the same thing.  My heart says NO.  I am doing what I am supposed too and its so hard.  If someone has or will ever go through this, my advice is to always follow your heart, if Christ is in your heart, because I know this will lead me to so many blessings.  The storm can stink at times and you don't understand, but keep holding on!!  I do pray no one goes through what I'm going through, because you feel lonely.  A lonesome feeling that's between God and yourself, where nobody can relate.  I know God is teaching me something through all this and I hope it helps make me be the woman God wants me to be.  More than anything do I want a good godly man to see me and see that I am following our Gods path and listening and obeying Him.  I do pray that the man God has for me is doing the same.  You never know, maybe by me being still In God, He will bring the man He has for me, right to me and if I would of moved or seeked another, I would of missed him or delayed the process.

I would love to ask anyone reading this, all the trials you have faced in this life, don't go through them with no purpose, but instead see how you can help someone else who is or maybe going through the same thing.  Nothing is more comforting when someone feels or have felt what you are going through. You know the words to say and you know just how to pray, cause you too felt and prayed those prayers for yourself.

:)

God bless all of you!!! I pray tonight that each of you reading this will open your hearts to God, that He may reveal anything for your life to you!

Struggle

I feel like sometimes there are things I'm struggling with or things on my mind that I want to share, but then I don't want to announce everything, but then this wouldn't be the true me, my true blog.  I don't want my readers to read part of me, but all of me, because I know I was created to share my trials and storms in my life.

As you most know this is a time of my life where I'm growing, I'm learning so much and I can feel me maturing in ways that I thought I wouldn't get till later in life.  I wish I could somehow sprinkle this dust that for a couple of minutes, you could feel what I feel.  I am constantly seeking God and trying to somehow grasp what it is He wants me to do next or opening up my eyes so I wont be blind to anything.  There is this peaceful feeling knowing that He is planning something and that He wants me to keep my eyes focused on Him.  I pray all the time for His help and guidance.  I honestly think of when everything is going great and how comfortable I get at "my life" and not what God is planning for me.

The truth of the matter is, with my current "lesson", I guess you could call it, is my thoughts.  Not bad thoughts, but thoughts of faith, but as my human self, I feel mixed with doubt.  Truth be told, here it is.....No matter what I do, no matter what I think, no matter how many times I pray, Brian doesn't leave my thoughts.  I get mad sometimes, because I don't want him to be in my thoughts.  I honestly want Gods thoughts.  Its like I'm battling something or someone and I have no idea who it is.  I feel God, I pray for His thoughts and what He wants me to focus on.  I will keep myself busy and read or pray, and nothing.  I don't understand.  I don't know why I have this hold on my life, when I'm not doing it.  No one walking this earth can help or tell me anything.  People just look at me and shrug their shoulders, also my therapist just stares at me.  The reason why is because this is between God and myself. 

(This is old, just posting)

Movie night!

I rented some movies and one of them was Son Of God.  I started watching it while finishing up my blogs, but when it was time for crucifixion part, I went and laid down and watched it.  I cried like a baby.

I was raised in knowing all the stories of the Bible and I know the story, but sometimes I think we need to be reminded at the details.  I can honestly say that sometimes I don't want to hear the details, because I then feel guilty.  Jesus died for me!  He paid a gruesome death for every mistake Ive done.  I have cursed God, I have turned my face, not listened, ignored Him and have shamefully disregarded my body, the temple He has given me.

Something that I want to share, because I want to be open with my walk, is that I am struggling with Jesus being enough.  I think I need someone to be truly happy or need more in life to be fulfilled, but I do have my moments where Christ is enough.  I want to feel that, all the time, I just feel as if something is missing.

I prayed tonight, during my crying moments where I want Christ to be enough and I will wait and wait until I get to that place.  I want for my God to be my everything with or without a mate or a child.  He needs and deserves my full attention and focus and I have to try and realize that not everyone can or will do that.

(I wrote this a week or so ago, but I still wanted to share)

Characteristics of a Godly Woman

Characteristics of a Godly Woman

• She handles herself gracefully- Proverbs 11:16
• She loves and embraces children- Psalm 113:9
• She speaks with wisdom- Proverbs 31:26
• She has discretion- Proverbs 11:22
• She is able to be fully trusted by her husband- Proverbs 31:11
• She joyfully embraces being a woman and abhors feminism- Psalm 113:9
• She can manage her home well- Proverbs 31:27
• She is diligent to accomplish anything entrusted to her care- Proverbs 31:13
• She is firm in her convictions and desires to teach younger women the virtues of godly womanhood through her example and instruction.- Titus 2:4
• She desires for, and encourages men to be leaders in their families, churches and society.-Isaiah 3:12
• She desires to build up and strengthen her home- Proverbs 14:1
• She believes children are a blessing from God, not a burden- Deuteronomy 7:14
• She has a humble spirit- 1 Peter 3:4
• She looks up to, follows, and respects her husband as the leader of the home- 1 Corinthians 14:35
• She has a quiet spirit, and influences others through godly conduct- 1 Peter 3:1-2
• She desires to be a mother of nations, not a leader of nations- Genesis 24:60
• She has a heart to open her home to hospitality and service to others- 1 Tim. 5:10
• She cares for the saints- 1 Timothy 5:10
• She is capable and skilled to clothe her family and decorate her home- Proverbs 31:21-22
• She desires to model the examples of holy women in Scripture- 1 Peter 3:5
• She has skills to prepare meals for her family and bless others through hospitality- Proverbs 31:15
• She is able to teach her children with practical, life instruction- Proverbs 31:1
• She desires to please her husband and do him good all his life- Proverbs 31:12
• She is able to manage a business from her home- Proverbs 31:18
• She can be trusted with wise discretion in spending- Proverbs 31:16
• She cares for the poor and the needy- Proverbs 31:20
• She clothes herself in modesty and good works and does not desire to attract or distract men’s eyes- 1 Peter 3:3-4
• She has a kind and helpful attitude- Proverbs 31:26-27
• She is prudent: intelligent, productive, skillful, wise and has understanding- Proverbs 19:24

I came across this and wanted to share it.  Its really a great study and something that I strive to be everyday.   I know I can be the woman who I am right now like this, but it will be great to show my future husband and my children that I can be that woman also.

Vacation Part 2

 Hotel 2 in Corpus, took us about 2 hours to find one, since all of them were filled up.  We headed out to Corpus real late after the SA trophy giving.  We got up around 9am and headed to the beach.  We were there for 5 hours and got burnt bad.  Rebecca got burnt during and mine didnt show up till on the way home in the car ride.  The burn was so bad that 3 days later I had to go to ER.  I do know that I had sun poisoning, but Im alot better now.  I just need to watch some moles that I have, because this burn was the worst yet.  We had a blast and I prayed in the ocean and thanked God for everything He has given me. 

Here I go!!!

The water was perfect temperture

If you dug in the sand, the ocean was right under it

We love to take pics!

We brought snacks to make sandwiches on our trip, then the birds attacked us.  They were all hovering over us that I ran and threw my sandwich and jumped in the water cause I just thought there were going to attack me and was freaking out.

Two birds, turned into 30 in 5.2 seconds.....those are on Rebeccas phone...

We had fun just lounging and having the tides roll on us

Look at all those freckles, before the burn came!

My favorite part was being deep in the water, barely touching the ground and jumping into the tide as it came and it sweep you under.  I stood out there for I don't know how long and let the waters hit me.  I love Gods creation.  I love mountains and oceans and I would love to have time and money to travel to see all of the wonders of the world.  I want to see a beautiful waterfall in a jungle one day! :)