Financial wake up call

I have to say that I always have been spoilt to a point.  I have struggled with money before, but always had a reliable income coming in.  Now that its just me, its definitely been a lesson, but I don’t think it’s a bad lesson at all.  The good Lord above made me to where  I always have loved financial stuff, considering I did go to college for Accounting and had a job for 7 years to where it was my focus to keep a business ran.

I’m taking it on like a challenge.  I’m trying to figure out ways to keep my sanity and yet, not be in the hole.  I’m also trying to figure out what profit I have sitting in my garage or house that I don’t need. 

It was never my ideal of a life to have, but in my heart I feel like it’s not going to be forever.  I am really seeing what the value of a dollar is now and also not going and blowing money on random things or eating out.  I look around my house when it comes to food and really see money and edible desirable food, instead of going and getting a quick meal.  It’s only been a couple of weeks, but I’ve had time to focus on what’s around me and where my life is going.

I see now where my friends didn’t have money to go and do things or I see where I wasted so much money at.  I am very thankful though that the Lord opened up doors this year and set me up financially.  He did open a door up for a new job which made more money, he did open up doors for my dream vehicle with a good monthly payment, he did open up doors to refinance my house and also helped me pay off my debt.  If God never opened up these doors and if I didn’t have the faith to walk through them, I would be in high debt probably close to filing bankruptcy, a car that’s on its last wheel pretty much and  then no way of fixing these problems.  I am so thankful and blessed that God took care of me, just like He promises in the Bible.  I am by no means bragging, but I do want others who may be reading this and may be struggling financially to seek Gods help.  Remember that he is our Father and we are his children and he will take care of us, but we also need to have faith and trust that He will. 

I bought this sign awhile back and when I read it, I cried.

I really felt like maybe everything that my parents taught

me, God knows I'm ready to be used.....I am so thankful

that I was raised in a godly home and was raised to have

a close relationship with God.

I won’t lie…..some of those doors were scary to walk through, because it was the unknown and it was not really what I wanted.  When God laid it on my heart to apply for a job where I work, it wasn’t the position that I have now.  I applied for a completely separate position than the one I have.  I always joke with people and tell them that I didn’t apply for this job, because I didn’t, but God put that paper work in the right hands.  I cried when I let my old boss know I was leaving, they were like my family.  I was scared of the unknown and I was scared of the atmosphere.  I wasn’t going to be able to be in my bubble, but I also knew God is going to put me in a place that hopefully I can be an example too and can be used for His kingdom. 

It was hard to apply for a big loan.  When I did, I wasn’t planning on applying that day, but I knew I needed too once I talked to the mortgage broker and it was a bigger loan that what I was wanting.  But did you know….that loan was almost perfect amount of what I needed to help pay off debt and also put a big down payment on my car?  Did you also know that the amount I save a month from credit card payments is also roughly around the same amount I pay for my new car and with Insurance?

I cant keep reminding myself of how good God is.  I keep thinking that He always knew when my grandpas last day on this earth was going to be and He knew what I was going to need.  Even though I didn’t know why or how, looking back I see how God worked…..for me.  He loves me that much!  He loves YOU that much!

I know that the times are going to come, especially now that the Holidays are coming up, to where it’s going to be challenging and even emotional, but God know what’s going to come and I’m trying really hard to just take it one day at a time.  We hear that all the time, and it can be so hard, but why worry about tomorrow? 

One set of scripture verses that I keep reminding myself is Matthew 6:25-34

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?

26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^a?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.

29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.

30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?

31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’

32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I think that is a very good set of scriptures to remind us who may be struggling or even if we arnt struggling with those things, because we can apply it to worrying.  Live in today and allow God to use you TODAY, tomorrow ask God to use you TOMORROW, but right now your’re in THIS moment and now is when God can change your heart or your situation. 

The enemy and Gods blessings

I've talked to a few friends and family members lately and they have been having negative thoughts.  One person had thoughts that maybe atheist knew more than Christians, one person had thoughts of not being good enough, and one person thought that living outside of Gods will, just might be what they want.

I'm not good with change.  This year, even before my grandpa passed, a lot of change happened.  I had to make some adult decisions that would affect me for years, I had to make some decisions of uprooting my little comfort bubble and I also had to make some changes with my house.  I start to self doubt what I want and whats right and what God is calling me to do.  I know in my heart that every decision that I had to make this year, was for this moment.  This moment in which I am here, right now, me, just me and God and I feel blessed.  Because of these changes and now a BIG change in not having my grandpas support, prayers or just advice to talk too or also the income, I have been self doubting everything.  Since my grandpas passing I have had to change ALOT of things, and call lots of people and making changes for my future.  That's all fine and dandy, because I have had a lot of support and encouragement and advice, but its MY life that is changing.  I'm not saying its for the bad, but because of all this change and decisions all at once, I can feel the enemy after me.

That's what this blog post is about.....The enemy!  Everytime something bad or hard comes in our life approaches us, we always seem to feel like its not fair or even with me, I think that I must of done something wrong.  I hate how the enemy knows our weaknesses and our insecurities.

With me, I get insecure about my weight, because it fluctuates and then I get disappointed in myself when I gain weight and then therefore don't feel worthy enough.  I also can be a perfectionist and when something bad happens, I feel like I did something wrong and I'm probably being punished.

My friend, when the enemy is after her, she goes inward and stays away from people and she also gets thoughts about not feeling good enough or never making the right decisions. 

As Ive got older, Ive realized that the enemy, especially now because I feel like he knows his time is running out, is out on a mission to just get as many people on his side and people to turn from God and believe his lies.  I look at our presidential candidates and see exactly just that.  I believe as Christians we need to join together and share our thoughts and feelings with each other, because I think we would be surprised how how similar they may be and recognize the enemies lies and then pray for each other.

I work in a place where I feel like the enemy roams around extra.  I can hear it in peoples conversations, the way they talk and the way they live their life.  I knew walking in, what I was possibly going to have to deal with, but I am proud to say that I walked in and people know where I stand and my beliefs.  I'm not perfect, I sometimes say a cuss word, I have had a past of falling of the straight and narrow, but I don't let that define me.  Theres no one walking this earth who hasn't made mistakes, but the enemy sure does like to throw it back in your face. 

Whomever decides to read this, I'm sure its a little weird.  I woke up with anxiety this morning in which I know isn't from the Lord, and Ive been spending time with God this morning trying to get peace.  Writing makes me feel good and I had some times and so I wanted to jot down these thoughts.  I just want people to know that when you get thoughts of your not good enough, its never going to get better, your too ugly, your too fat, your too skinny, your a loser, your screwed up too many times, etc. that its a lie, because there is a Father in Heaven who LOVES YOU just who you are RIGHT NOW!!!  I know it seems hard to believe if no one has ever told you, but its true.  I don't have a dad hear on earth, but I tell you, my Father in Heaven sure has spoilt me on this earth and I know its because he loves me and I know its because he wants to give me blessings, just like he does you! 

When a child does something wrong, you don't reward them when gifts or games or whatever they like.  You may not give them something, or may discipline them.  When your child makes good grades or does something wonderful, you tend to want to reward them or go buy them something they want and I feel like God is just like that, but even BETTER!  He knows what we need and what our hearts desires are way more then even we do and so if we don't get something we asked for, then just trust that God knows we don't need it, or don't need it now OR may have something even better then we ever even thought of.  Its trust and faith and those arnt easy to come by sometimes. 


I got to get ready for the day and I'm not going to proof read this, this is more like a diary entry to me, but I hope it does touch or help someone, or even remind someone!

I do love you guys and I will pray for this blog that the words I say are what God is wanting me to share.

Its been awhile

Since I last wrote on here, a lot has changed.  I originally was going to write a post on how my 30th year was probably the best year I have ever lived, but right after my 31st birthday, just less than a week ago, my world got flipped upside down.

As I'm grieving, I just am home and want to write.  I used to love writing and found enjoyment on sharing my ups and downs and my lessons and blessings to others.  In this post, I'm going to write my past year.

I met a guy last August whom I fell in love with and we made it official in October.  In our relationship, it took me awhile to finally get used to each other, because we are both straight forward people and hard headed, but we have grown and respected each other a lot and I am so grateful. 

When I turned thirty, I got to ride in my first plane and then jumped out of it.  It was such a dream of mine and I was so excited.  I never got nervous, but enjoyed falling to the earth.  We also went to the Reunion Tower in Dallas, a Rangers game and also the State Fair.  It was a very good birthday.

Another change that I had this past year was, I got another job.  I'm still in law enforcement, but its way better pay and better insurance.  God opened up that door and I didn't want to walk through it, but I trusted Him and I am so glad I did, because I know I would be way far off right now.  While I'm on this topic, I want to share that when this job was brought to my attention, I ignored it.  I felt the Holy Spirit remind me of it and I just KNEW I needed to apply.  The truth is, I applied for a different position, and still got this job that I have now, so I knew it was a God thing. 

Looking back, I don't remember my thoughts and what made me get up and go, but I applied to refinance my home in my name.  I had been working on it for over a year, not applying for anything, not using any credit cards to build up my credit and I walked in one day and applied and that too changed my world. 

With refinancing my home, God directed me to something that I have been wanting/needing for awhile now and that's a new car.  God allowed me to get the dream vehicle I always wanted, and more.  It has way more features than I originally wanted, but I am so thankful and feel so blessed to finally have it. 

On top of even all of that, God has allowed me to pay off all my credit card debt.  I do have a couple of credit cards with 0% interest, but that's okay, I am slowly working on those.

I felt in my heart that I see my grandpa getting older and his sisters mind was slowly depleting, I knew it was important to gather them together.  We made a family of 6 trip to the beach this summer so they could spend some time together and go over memories and play dominoes.  I wanted my grandpa to feel sand in his toes and also get in the beach.  My job was good to me to have off so I could even though I was still new and I will always remember those memories. 

Five days after I turned 31, my grandpa went to go be with the Lord.  He went how he wanted to go, which was asleep and no pain.  He did have health problems suddenly that did lead him to the hospital that night and maybe one day I may write about that, but right now all I want to say is, he is not longer here, but running on the streets of gold in heaven with his wife and family.  I have to say, I'm a little jealous, because he left me here with Clinton and Trump (lol, joke.....no but for real, he did). 

We just had his funeral yesterday and it was a good, sweet little funeral.  There wernt a lot of people there, but if you think about it, its kind of a blessing, because that means he outlived his friends.  I have been really numb, happy, and sad, and jealous and scared about my future.  I know I shouldn't be scared, but I have no parents left and I just know one day when I get married or have children or even next month with Holidays coming up, I don't know how I'm going to feel. 

I know I'm strong, I know God has a plan for me and I know that He is writing my story.  God knew that on October 9th, grandpa was going to go Home and I know that God loves me so much that throughout this amazing year He has opened up doors and given me strength through all of the fears of financial changes, that at the end of the day, today, I would be okay!  Even though I don't have any parents left, MY GOD is still MY FATHER and I am still His daughter and I am trying to hold on to faith and His love that I will always be taken care of.  God has used people to help bless me and take care of me and I don't want to forget that.

I don't want this blog to be any bragging rights or anything like that, because I am very blessed and very thankful for what God has loaned me this life.  I will miss grandpa very much and because of that man, I am the woman I am today.  I couldn't of asked for a better mom or grandpa and I am so happy that God blessed with me God fearing parents.

It feels so good to blog.......I know I might be rusty or all over the place, but whomever does read this, I hope it somehow touches you and reminds you that God loves you and WILL take care of you.

Here's a link to his memorial. Bubba Fincher

One thing that EVERYONE has told me that they remember about my grandpa is......HIS SMILE!!! He was always smiling and wanting people to be happy.......that makes me happy!!!

Here's an example of what my year was like and I do hope that I can pick blogging back up and maybe share more pictures of this past year and what's going on with me currently.  I hope you enjoyed!!

Update on my life!

Its been awhile since I last wrote in my blog. I actually didn't think it was that far back until I just now looked, but alot has happened since then.

God has truly blessed me and yet I still struggle with where He is taking me in this journey of life.  I know He is big on opening up doors in our lives and also closing them.  I know sometimes we see the lesson as it happens and then we see it later down the road, but I know its for our good.  

I wont lie, sometimes I still get sad at certain doors that have been closed,  I seem to somehow put the blame on myself.  Then I see doors that are opened and I know Christ is right there pouring His blessings on me.  As humans we tend to see door closings as a deep loss or even a failure, but then we see why certain things didn't go to plan or certain relationships or jobs didn't work out.  Its where we need to completely put our trust and faith in God that He is working His good in our lives.

Where have I been?

That's a good question.  I tend to always step back from social media and the Internet to grasp reality.  So many people, including myself can get wrapped up in other peoples lives or wondering who's doing what that we forget whats truly important.  I know most people might say, "I can walk away anytime", but try it!!!  You will be surprised at how much of a tendency you will have to pick up your phone to sign on to whatever website you are connected too.  I just think we need to step away often and look at the relationships that is around us.

1. God has blessed me with someone whom calls me his angel, but in reality he is my angel, to help take care of my house issue and I am truly overwhelmed and blessed.  I needed help financially with one situation for over and a year and then another issue for a few months and God just did His thing and took care of me!!! I pretty much have had my whole house re-done (When its complete, I plan to write a blog with pictures). 

2. I also have a new member to my family. (I will post pics of them soon)

3. I got to meet my cousin from my dads side of the family, not once, but twice since I last blogged!  He remembers playing with me when we were kids and I told him I didn't remember.  Then I said, I remember this one time of playing in the backyard with a fence all around and a play set and the tree leaves were dead cause of Autumn with a boy in the backyard.  He then told me, "Yep, that was me at my dads house".  So I did remember!!!  I felt like Ive known him my whole life and I just felt comfort to have met someone that was a part of me that I never got to see growing up.  He told me that I look like alot of the women when they were younger on my dads side and I see it!  To be almost 30 years old and just figuring out half of who you are is very overwhelming.  I remember at dinner one night, my cousin said, "Just to let you know, when Conners' get mad, they SNAP!"  I was praising the good Lord above, because I never knew where I got that from.  My family is so laid back and I didn't understand why I got so mad so quick, but now I can blame it on the genes.  The good part is though, we don't stay mad long!

4.  I have gone on a few dates since I last blogged.  I don't know what God has planned,  but I had a great time and it brought lots of smiles to my face.

5.  I re-did my living room!  I never liked the color it was before and since alot of the outside was having a make-over, I wanted to do the living room.  I still want to be able to put down some wood floors, but that will wait. I am still trying to pay off debt.

6.  God has blessed me with 2 little mini vacations.  I honestly thought that I would be a hermit at home this summer, but God allowed me to have lots of adventures and meet new people and also old friends!

7.  I'm still close to getting to my goal of my weight loss, but seem to get stuck alot.  I have actually won the Biggest Loser at work and I keep going up and down in the weight scale.  When you get down to the last somewhat pounds, its hard to get those last off, but I'm determined and I'm not giving up.  

I have a few more months until I turn the big 3-0.  There are moments where I'm super excited, because I cant wait to see what the next  10 years are going to be.  I'm claiming in Jesus name that they are going to be the best years!!! I'm a little sad, because these past 10 years sure did fly and its not quite exactly where I thought I would be at 29, but God knew, so I just need to trust that He has great plans for me.

I have lots of pictures and lots of things I could get more detailed about, but this pretty much sums up the past couple of months.  I'm sure there is more, but I cant think of them right now.  I did miss blogging, but I was enjoying life!!!

What are you doing?

I'm in a season of singleness right now and don't mind it at all.  I have spent the past year on learning about being single, since technically this is the first time that Ive had time with just God and myself and I'm learning on what He wants from us during this time.  God has also placed tons of people in my life whom are single and I have been sharing the knowledge that I have learned.

One main thing that I have came across lately and catch myself repeating alot is "What are you doing to prepare yourself for your spouse?"  If you truly are seeking God and is single and wanting the mate He has for you, then this is a legit, logical question to ask yourself.  Each of us is different.  With me personally, I had insecurity issues with my weight and so I lost it and still working on it.  I had issues with trust from past relationships and God has taught me alot in handling situations when it comes to trust.  I had problems with being selfish and God has opened up my heart to sharing and spending my time building Gods kingdom.  I had problems with finances and using credit cards and God has done an amazing work in my life to show me where my money needs to go too, that He will go beyond what I could dream of to help take care of the debt I put myself in.  Those are just a few things I needed to work on.

So when some of these single friends of mine come up to me panicky or mad or frustrated (all understandable emotions), I simply ask them, "What are you doing to prepare yourself for your future spouse?"  They always look at me with a puzzled look on their face or they hesitate, but alot of times they don't like the question.  Most people walking this earth are selfish people, because we are humans.  Most of us look out for #1 and that's ourselves and we want things NOW and done NOW.  God has graciously showed me that that's just not how God works.  Yes at times He may answer a prayer right away, but during the waiting time, during the process, the molding time, THAT is where you grow, you mature, you grow faith, you grow trust, you grow into who God wants you to be and you learn about yourself and your relationship with the Creator.  THEN, when its time, God will join you and your mate together, but how much more sweeter is that story when the both of you know WHO you are in Christ as a single person, then together you can grow as ONE when your married.

This isn't an overnight fix.  

I remember one night I was laying in my bed praying to God and I thanked Him for this time of singleness.  I got teary eyed when I thought of the day when my life wasn't going to be as calm.  The day when I would have a husband and children running around and then, I'm going to think back of me laying there with nothing going around, no one needing my attention and it would be just me and God and I would want to go back to that moment of singleness for just one second.

I know I will love my life then, but whats wrong with loving our lives now?  We wont get this time back, we wont get back this moment or this time where we can grow and get stuff done before our mate walks in.  I think of how blessed my future husband is going to be, just because God has taken the time to clean out my life and remove people who didn't belong there and remove issues and struggles of mine.  He let me have the time to learn about how to eat right and how to take care of my body and what to eat and what not to eat.  I can take this knowledge and not only share with people around my life now, but my family in the future.

Being single isn't a bad thing.  I understand that there are lonely moments or there are times when you feel your clock is ticking or even just ready to move on to the next chapter, but just remember, God knows EXACTLY where you are and even where your spouse is in their walk.  His ways, His plans, His timing is perfect!  Its always when we allow God to work and when we look back is when we see what He saw all along and THEN we are grateful, but lets me grateful now.  

Sometimes we just have to say, "God, I give this season of my life to you.  You have placed these desires in my heart and in your time they will come true.  Until then Lord, please help mold me into the person you want me to be and mold me into the wife/husband for my future mate.  I pray Lord that you watch over them and help them in their lives and any struggles or issues that they may face.  God please be with me in my times of loneliness and in my times of struggle when I just wish my future spouse was already in my life.  I trust you God that your plans are better than my plans for my life and my life is in your hands.  In this season, please Lord use me to the best way possible to help others and help build your kingdom.  Thank you Lord for this time with just you and me.  In Jesus Name, Amen"

Ive mentioned before that I pray for my future husband everyday.  You betcha I do!!  I have claimed what God has placed in my heart, what He has been preparing me for and its only a matter of when we will join paths.  He is real, he is walking this earth and there is nothing wrong with praying for someone you may or may not of met.  I think that shows trust and faith in God.

So what are you working on if you are single right now to better your life with your future spouse?  Do you have some debts you need to try and pay off?  Do you have a few pounds that you are insecure about?  Do you have any addictions that are weighing you down?  Is there some education you want to get under your belt?  Are their people in your life that are a bad influence or just really don't need to be there?  Do you want to get a better job or higher in your career?  Do you need to clean out your house or get rid of some things?  There honestly is no better time, then now.  How would you feel if your future spouse had this huge baggage that they haven't dealt with and was waiting on you to help them?

Keep working on to be a better you and a better child in Christ each and every day.  Always seek Christ and pray for your future spouse to seek Christ and because both of your eyes are on Christ, He will lead you together.  In my heart, theres really no need to worry and feel like you need to put yourself out there to find someone.  God is the creator of EVERYTHING, He can place 2 people at the right time in His time............just trust Him!!!!!

 

 

A cold

I have a cold.  It came super fast and I didn't even know anything was going around.  One day a girl at work got sick, second day another girl got sick and the third day 2 of us girls got sick.  I thought the other girls were having allergies and I don't suffer that, so I didn't think anything of it. 

I have been on this different eating plan in which I will talk about in a blog soon, but I had to strip a lot of foods out that help the immune system. 

I realized that my immune system was weakened and so I wanted my body to naturally fight this cold without any medicine.  I know there are a lot of people out there that say God made medicine and all that, but I also believe He made our body to naturally strengthen and fight these viruses naturally with natural type foods and ways.  I am not totally anti-medicine.  I believe if every persons situation and the way their body is made, whether they have allergies or asthma or lung issues or whatever, that they may need more attention, but for some of us we don't need to just run to the store and fill our bodies with man made medicine when our bodies can naturally just fight it off. 

In fact I have realized that my colds are half the time and not as bad when I drink plenty of Vitamin C when I'm sick and drink fluids and eat soup and drink
hot tea to break up the congestion.  I remember being more miserable, being drugged up and it prolonged then when I allow my body to fight how its made it too.

I know there are those oils out there too that has helped with sickness for a lot of people.  I also take cough drops to help with the sore throat and my cough.

I just wanted to share this short little blog on what God has laid on my heart.  Every person is different and struggle differently and have different opinions. 

#19 Water jug

I am the worst at getting my water intake daily and at the beginning of the year I got a few of these jugs to take with me to work and around the house so I could finish my water intake without having to think about it too much.  I know that you are really suppose to calculate by your weight, but I knew this would be better than just a bottle or 2 of water a day.  I also had a few packets of Stevia in it for flavor.  I have gotten mine from Walmart for a couple of bucks and even some at Dollar General.  Also what I have realized is that I have saved money because I just use my refrigerator to fill it up with the filter instead of buying all these water bottles all the time.