Purity

I finished my book, How to become the woman God wants you to be and the other day when I was out running errands, I really felt led to go to Mardels.  I really didn't want too, though before I left the house I had made plans too, but it was getting hot and I just wanted to get my errands done with.  God kept tugging at my heart and so I agreed to go and went.  I remember walking into Mardels, telling God, "Okay, you lead me where you want me to go".  He actually led me to a few places, but then I ended in the book section.  I was just reading books about what He might want me to get and then my eye caught a book.  I schemed right over it, but then it went back.  The title of the book read, "When God writes your love story".  I knew it was the book!!!

I'm reading the book now and cant seem to put it down.  It has opened up my eyes alot the past few days and I have come to a conclusion with where I am at in life.  I'm 28 years old, no children here on earth, divorced and it feels sometimes like time is running out.  I thought I met the man God wanted me to be with, but since then handed it over to God.  I'm not in control and I honestly want Gods best for me.

I'm vowing myself purity.  Obviously Ive been married and I cant say that I'm pure in virginity wise, but I will remain faithful till the day God places a man in my life.  I don't want to meet my selfish desires of companionship or affection by temporary relationships, I honestly want to tell my future husband that I waited on him.  If my future husband could look at me now, I would want him to smile that I'm waiting him and I do hope hes waiting on me.  I wouldn't want my future husband to see me giving any part of me to another man.

I know my worth and I know my heart, as God does too.  I know I want a man, I desire a man to treasure my heart.  I gave my heart to God, so that one day when the man God has for me, my Father will hand the part of my heart that my future husband needs over to him so that he may treasure it with his whole being, as likewise with me to him.  Kinda like that saying, " I want my future husband to be so lost in God that he has to seek Him to find me".

In the meantime I will be waiting and praying for my future spouse.  I pray that they are doing the same for me.  I want to live as if my future husband can see my every thought and action and to honor him in every possible way.  Its quite a beautiful thing.  I trust my God that He wants me to be happy and to marry a godly man, someone who shares the same values and morals as me.  I know during this time, God has opened up my heart and has been molding me and now I want nothing more, to be that future wife and future mother and to be able to make my future husband feel like a respected, honored and valued man who as a wife, will love and support him throughout this life.  I do feel honored that God has given me this time to become that woman.

I'm going to really try and work on not thinking of what I thought God had planned for me, because He still might......I just know, that during this time I'm going to remain faithful, honest and pure for my future husband.  I hope one day when I have him face to face that he can smile and be thankful that I waited for him.