Break my heart for what breaks yours

I enjoy going to church, but every Sunday I always get attacked.  I'm reminded that I go to church alone, I'm reminded that I had someone who would hold my hand and pray and I'm reminded that I'm still growing. 

Today while singing, this song Hosanna came on and while singing, these words:

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

It struck me!!!

Those are powerful words and as you all know back in February I prayed for God to break my heart for what breaks His.  I knew Brian and mines relationship wasn't where it should of be, speaking for myself with me carrying my baggage and I knew God needed to work on me and mold me.  Today in church I prayed for God to break my heart for what breaks His again.  I knew what might come, but even though I don't feel as if I'm doing anything that would break Gods heart, I prayed it anyways.  I told God I want to be stripped clean and to be molded to the fullest.  I feel as if I have been walking with God, the closest I ever have in my life and I pray all the time for this not to be temporary, but forever.  I want to always seek God in everything I am.  I have been praying for when God brings my mate in my life, and I pray that He seeks God with everything, so as a couple we can be that God seeking couple that can be a witness, testimony and example to others. 

I have probably a month left of my Proverbs 31 book left, and its a powerful book for women.  I have realized my confidence is in Christ, which in turn lets me have confidence with everything, my inner and outer beauty.  Sometimes I struggle because my friend always gets hit on alot and I feel like men don't even look my way.  The crazy thing is, when I sit back and look at it, its actually a blessing.  I know there is the one man that God wants me to be with, that will see me and only me, because he sees Christ in me and that will be the man that I want to look at me.  The truth of it all, is I'm waiting, I'm waiting on God to show me my next step.  His word is a lamp unto my feet, a light unto my path and I picture Jesus with a lantern holding it next to me and I cant see far, Jesus knows where we are going, but I can only see what He reveals and I'm taking my faith and trust and walking the next step with Him.



I know I wont always be in this season of growth, there will be a time when Jesus says I'm ready to be a wife and a mother, so I don't really fret on it now.  I don't know what Hes doing to my future husband.  I am learning to love others, like Jesus loves others.  I'm working on being a servant of the Lord and not look at me and what benefits me, but what I can do to help others.  Its a huge step for me as my whole life I have been selfish, but God has been laying it on my heart for over a month now and its rewarding.  My heart isn't heavy burdened anymore and I'm eager now to see how Jesus is going to use me. 

I keep going back to the song lyrics and how powerful they are.  If we praised God and talked to God everyday like that, it would be amazing! 

I'm here God, use me, teach me, show me and guide me in everything that glorifies You!
In Jesus Name,
Amen


(crazy thing about the pic, is when I was looking for something, I was trying to find something that I was picturing in my head with the lantern and Jesus guiding me, and then I couldn't find one and God said, "Keep Going", so I did and when I came across this one, I knew it was the one, God is so good)