Whats your story?

As Christians we all have a story, a testimony of what God has done in our lives.  We have a story to share about who we were and who we are now giving the credit to Jesus and what He has done in our lives.  Do you ever share your story to others?  Do you share your story of how you came to know Christ?  Do you share the stories of how you were in your darkest days and trials and how God brought you out of them?  Maybe your like me who has been in a season of growth, do you share how God revealed to you your weaknesses and faults so you could work on them?  Maybe God took someone out of your life with choice or death and how you overcame that with leaning on God?

Just like Jesus when He died and was resurrected and no one knew who He was until He showed them His scars.  It was what He did for us that He kept, His scars, to show others in a physical form.  I know I have physical scars on my body from surgeries or from falling down and scrapping myself on something.  I have one major surgery from having my kidney removed due to cancer.  Sometimes I get insecure about it because I know forever that I will never have a "perfect body", but keeping me alive is way more important and its also a story I can share how God delivered me.  I'm sure most of us have a scar they can share a story to us on our physical bodies, but what about the scars on our hearts?  You could of lost a child, been abused, got cheated on and divorced.  Maybe you grew up in an abusive (verbal, physical, sexual) home as a child or have been alone most of your life.  No matter what the scar that you have, sharing it could help someone else who maybe has or is going through that.  

I recall growing up going through something as a small child which in turn I felt alone.  I thought at 5 or 6 years old that I thought something was wrong with me.  I didn't intend to share my story, but that's what this post is about so I'm going to go ahead and share it.  When I was a child I had a family member touch me inappropriately.  The person who did it was a child himself so as Ive gotten older there are no hard feelings, but while I was going through that as a child, I thought I did something wrong or I was a bad person.  I wish someone would of shared their story with me.  In fact, my mother growing up always told me if someone touches me wrong in my private parts to tell her.  One night she asked me if anyone has, like she would occasionally and I told her.  Afterwards, I ended up going to counseling as a child because of my thoughts and how I felt.  A few months after my mother died, I found out when she was 16 that she had gotten raped by some strangers.  I was in shock!  My mother knew what I was going through as a child, why didn't she tell me?  I know my mother had her reasons, but I wish I could ask her why?  I know I wouldn't of felt so alone and felt like something was wrong with me.  My mother and I had a very close relationship and was open to each other, but that is one thing that I learned.  I don't want others to feel alone in a struggle or something they might have gone through.  I feel in a way that's why God has made me such an open person.

Looking back on my life I have gone through many situations in which I have scars on my heart from.  I have lost my mother, 3 babies, been divorced and lost the man that I feel God has given me.  I know there are other many scars, including the cancer that though I have it in physical form, it always is on my heart.  I appreciate life more and value my health and have faced what its like to possibly not have a long time to live.

I know people who arnt open to their life's struggles or don't like to broadcast their mistakes or weaknesses, I totally understand.  I actually have told maybe a handful of people the story that I wasn't going to share because its something I rarely think about, but looking at it, I feel its why I am the way I am now.  I know that everything we go through is for a reason and if it can help someone, then share it!  I feel the most comfortable is when I'm going through a struggle and I find someone who is going through the same thing or just went through it.  They understand, they get it!  They know how to help me, what to say and even know how to pray because they too felt what I was feeling at that moment.  The people I really don't understand are the people who make their lives seems like its perfect.  Let me ask, what and how is that helping anyone?  I can just see alot of people looking at their lives trying to figure out why their life cant be perfect like them and in reality behind closed doors and internally of that individual they are probably struggling more.

My point to this blog really is if there is anyone around you that may be going through something that you have gone through or maybe is going through it now, reach out!!  There might be a lost person who needs Jesus and you can share what Jesus did for you in your life when you went through it or what Jesus is doing in your life now while your going through it.  My season of growth and facing my faults and weaknesses, I wouldn't trade for anything.  Of course I would of loved of been preparing for my wedding to the man that I feel God gave me, but what kind of a wife would I have been?  How could God use me when I was selfish and had image issues and was controlling?  Now that God has stripped me and I now have a scar on my heart of being stripped, I can be used!  I can be ready for the time God places him in my life and be that wife and mother that He has created me to be.  I'm not perfect, never have been and never will be, but that's what God can use with us.  Our imperfections, our scars, our trials and storms and even the scars we cause ourselves are lessons, strength, and hopefully to draw us closer to God so we in turn, can help others.

 

Our scars are priceless treasures that our Master has entrusted to us.  We can choose to invest those treasures in the lives of others, or we can choose t hide them because of fear.  Satan will do everything he can to tempt you not to trust God because he knows your willingness to place yourself in God's holy hands will leave to full redemption..Redemption is when the pain is treated and turned around so thoroughly that it not only loses its power to do you harm but also gains the power to do some good.  Scars do not simply represent healing or the end of a struggle, but the beginning of a ministry.

 

To live by grace means to acknowledge your whole life story, the light side and the dark.  In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God's grace means.